


He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me

by sulphuriccherry



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Avengers Party, Confessions, Developing Relationship, Drunk Peter, Eventual Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Karaoke, M/M, Need, Oral Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-01-24 11:57:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21337870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sulphuriccherry/pseuds/sulphuriccherry
Summary: An Avengers party were Peter gets drunk and sings an embarrassing confessional love song. Obsessions, Questions, and Confessions. It's dead cute and I recommend it.The song that goes with it is; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQAZR1Amy7A
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 76
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

Thor had arranged a post endgame get together for everyone, and it was mandatory. This had happened at the same time every year for the past five years. He had hired out a hall, and everyone and their families were invited, which meant that everywhere you looked there were superheroes and their close relatives.  At this particular one, things were different for Peter. He could now legally drink and actually join in with everyone.

Everyone was having a wonderful time, there was plenty to eat and plenty to drink. There were people hugging and laughing, telling stories and catching up. It was one of those events where the men wore suits and the women wore dresses, which was great for Peter because he got to sit at the bar and watch Tony look amazing all night.  Thor had set up a karaoke machine on a small platform and was currently belting out  _ 'I need a hero' _ at the top of his lungs. Steve found this hilarious and was videoing it on his phone.

Peter had been in love with Tony for so long, he couldn't remember when it started. Instead of partying with everyone else, he sat at the bar and tried cocktails, watching every move Mr. Stark made.  Stark, at this point, was standing at the opposite end of the room, laughing with Rhodey and Bucky, a drink in his hand and a stunning blue suit. 

"You're the most obvious person I've ever met." Banner laughed as he came and stood beside him. The cocktails were making Peter feel buzzed, which he thoroughly enjoyed. 

He smiled and looked over at Bruce before he returned his gaze to his mentor. "I know," 

"I can't believe that he hasn't noticed," Bruce replied, picking up a drink and sipping it. 

"I know," Peter giggled. "Everyone in this room knows, well except him and Pepper." 

Tony turned around to talk to Steve, who was obviously telling him something funny because Tony burst into a fit of laughter, his face lighting up. 

"He's perfect," Peter whispered just loud enough for Bruce to hear.

Banner patted his back. "Perhaps you need to move on. This is just gonna end up hurting you. I can't believe that the smartest guy in the room cannot see how sweet you are on him."

Peter took a large sip from the glass in his hands.

"Oi, I'm the smartest man in the room." Strange's voice spoke out as he joined on the other side of Peter. All three of them had their backs leaning on the bar as they watched Tony together.  "And I can tell." Strange added. "Maybe he is the dumbest man in the room." He said in a jokey tone. 

"Uhuh," Peter grinned, "That would be me, for falling in love with my 40 something married mentor." He laughed at himself.

Peter knew it was ridiculous! Who in the right mind spends all their time lusting and loving someone they could never get in 50 billion years? Someone who he saw daily and had to pretend it wasn't the best moments in his life?  Peter just couldn't break away, it was too hard to get over him. If he did, he would be reminded of Stark daily from the newspapers and magazines, merchandise, posters. Tony's face was everywhere, and he fucking loved it.

Happy and May were there too, sitting with Nat and Clint. Turns out couples tend to gravitate towards each other. Deadpool was running around pulling pranks on Scott, which Scott tried to retaliate. They did this every year, each trying to win the best prank.

Strange and Banner laughed with Peter. "So who's all doing karaoke?" Strange asked. "If no one else goes up soon, Thor is going to continue his love ballads whilst getting staggeringly drunker." 

"You'll have to get me drunk before I go up." Peter laughed, "And I'm halfway there!" He exclaimed, holding up his glass before downing what was left. 

"What are you going to sing?" Banner asked. 

"Are you kidding? I'm singing a drunk unrequited lovesick song! But you have to promise me you'll come up and sing the Monster Mash after." He nudged Banner, making him laugh.

Peter was incredibly unlike himself tonight, but he was having fun and he knew that if he got drunk enough, he wouldn't remember any of this come morning time.  Thor was approaching the end of the song as Steve jumped up to relieve him of the mic. Apparently he was going to sing next, meaning that Peter had more time to get way drunker. 

Peter knew he should not be singing this particular song, and that every single person in the room would feel sorry for him. It was so on the line, so on point. But it's the song he has played on repeat for the last three months, and it's the only one he wanted to sing right now. 

Steve sent into a rendition of  _ 'Ice Ice Baby' _ which had Bucky pissing himself with laughter. He then walked off of the platform to pull Bucky up on stage. Everyone was in fits as he was drunk enough to join in. 

Peter stopped paying attention and instead continued to study Tony. Pepper appeared and wrapped her arms around him, probably saying something sickeningly sweet, which made Peter want to gag. He grimaced as he saw how 'cute' they were together.

Tony pulled a rose out from behind his back and handed it to her, making her blush and take it from him. Pepper looked radiant, as usual. She had her hair curled and wore a beautiful blue dress which almost matched Tony's suit.  Peter sighed deeply as he picked up another drink. 

"I wish that were me." He clenched his jaw as he felt a pang of jealousy throughout his body.

Banner patted him on the back again but had no idea what to say to him. After a minute or two Pepper untangled herself from Tony and walked towards May and Happy. Tony caught Peter's eye and motioned for him to come over.

Peter squealed to himself and stood up properly. "I'll be back guys," he grinned as he almost skipped over to his mentor.

Strange and Banner looked at each other with amused faces. "He's adorable." Strange spoke.

"A complete mess as well," Banner added.

As Peter approached Tony, he wore the biggest smile on his face. Tony placed a hand on his shoulder. "Where have you been all evening? I've hardly seen you!"

"Been drinking," Peter giggled. "Now I'm actually able to." He licked his lips and tried to hold himself up. 

Tony gripped his arm to steady him, chuckling. "How much have you had Kid?"

"Mm, not a kid Mr. Stark, and only like four or five."

Stark raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. "Maybe you should slow down?" His arm still holding onto Peter. 

"Are you going to sing Mr. Stark? I am!" Peter had the goofiest smile plastered on his face as he lovingly looked into his mentor's eyes. This was completely lost on Tony, of course.

"No Pete, not tonight. Maybe next time." He grinned.

"But you aaaaalways say that Tony, I know you have a good voice, it's so beautiful!" Peter flirted, letting his inhibitions go. 

Tony was amused, taking the drink away from Peter's hand. "You're so not you when you're drunk. I'm heading to the bathroom, but go and sit down for a while." He suggested.

Steve's song ended and he spoke into the microphone. "Next up is my man Spiderboy, come on up Peter!" 

Peter's eyes widened and he looked at the stage and then back to Tony. "Guess I'm up!" He smiled. "Please stay for this song before you go to the bathroom?" He sounded so innocent. 

Tony looked him in the eyes, sensing there was a reason.

"Please?" Peter whispered.

Tony nodded. "Okay kid, you're up. I'll be here."  He watched as Peter skipped across the room. 

Everyone was kind of shocked, any of the last parties they had had, Peter refused outright to get up and sing. There was a state of confusion amongst them all, and most of them were sure that it was a joke. He didn't even sing at home to himself, but they were going to hear him tonight. 

As Peter got up on the platform, he positioned himself in front of the mic, looking out to everyone. He didn't realize so many people were here! To make matters worse it was all eyes on him and they were all watching him eagerly. Luckily, he was incredibly drunk, so he did not need to worry about the nerves.

"Uh," he laughed awkwardly. "I'm not a good singer so don't judge me okay?"  There was a titter from his friends as they all patiently waited. 

"Also uh, this is gonna be a slower song, but this is my song so uh, here goes!" He grinned, nearly losing his footing. He moved his arms out to try and regain his balance as he held onto the mic stand and prepared to sing.  Everyone was highly amused. Peter was the baby of the group, and everyone looked at him as their collective kid, seeing him like this finally was crazy.

His voice started to sing out as the music joined in, singing softly with his eyes shut.

_ "He's got navy green eyes but he only has eyes for her. The way that he talks it's not hard to hang on to his words. He's the boy of my dreams that's all he'll ever be for us…" _

His voice was soft but broke slightly, it was actually really sweet. No one there had ever heard him sing before. He knew they felt bad for him at that moment, but this was his truth.

_ "There's nothing that I wouldn't give _

_ To know how it feels to have him just once. _

_ Am I invisible or invisible only to him? _

_ And I hope she's everything _

_ Everything I could've been _

_ And the roses he never gave me…" _

Peter's eyes opened, and he settled them not on a person, but on a flower. And more specifically the rose that Pepper was holding in her hand.

_ "I can rip all the petals I want _

_ He loves me not _

_ He loves me not" _

Peter clenched his eyes shut again, starting to feel the song in his heart, and also starting to feel incredibly embarrassed.

_ "She's got wavy blonde hair and her everything's nothing but sweet _

_ Wish I could hate her but I see she makes him complete _

_ The way he looks at her there's no doubt it's undeniably love" _

His voice went high at the end, every word that came out he felt deep within him. Peter was aware that everyone could see how the words may as well have been written by him. Everyone except for Pepper and Tony, thank god.

_ "There's nothing that I wouldn't give _

_ To know how it feels to have him just once _

_ Am I invisible or invisible only to him _

_ And I hope she's everything _

_ Everything I could've been _

_ And the roses he never gave me _

_ I can rip all the petals I want _

_ He loves me not _

_ He loves me not" _

He was painfully aware of how quiet everyone was, as his face was red and singing into the mic with a passion. The crowd was intently listening to every word he sang.

The next lines were gut-wrenching to him as he powered up to belt them out.

_ "He's broken my heart one too many times _

_ But I can't love him less so I know that he'll never be mine" _

As the song quietened, he sang slowly and softly, opening his eyes and landing on Tony's. 

_ "Am I invisible or invisible only to him _

_ And I hope she's everything _

_ Everything I could've been" _

He clenched his eyes shut again as he finished the song, willing himself not to cry.

_ "And the roses he never gave me _

_ I can rip all the petals I want _

_ He loves me not _

_ Am I invisible or invisible only to him _

_ And I hope she's everything _

_ Everything that I could've been _

_ And the roses he never gave me _

_ I can rip all the petals I want _

_ You love me not _

_ You love me not" _

After the song finished everyone clapped and cheered for him, May standing up and wooing him. Peter smirked and kept blushing, bowing his head and thanking everyone for listening. Tony was clapping, but he wore an unusual expression.  As Peter wobbled off the stage, T'challa hugged him and congratulated him. He also handed him a glass of water, being the caring person he was. 

"You did very well," He smiled, "Don't drink anymore, okay?" Peter smiled and accepted the water. He held it with both hands as he brought it to his lips to drink.

As he walked, Pepper approached him from the side. "You said you couldn't sing!" She laughed, "It was very sweet Peter, what made you pick that song?"

Peter laughed nervously, looking up to see Tony had been standing near them, listening. He caught Tony's eyes. He knew. Peter blushed and looked to the floor then up to Pepper. 

"I guess I just like the song," he lied. In fact, although the song was lovely, it did hurt him from time to time. 

Pepper hugged him, "I'm very proud of you kid." 

As she walked away he found himself loudly speaking after her. "I'm not a kid!" He said that very loudly, so quite a few people heard.  Peter shrugged and continued to drink his water. 

"Pete?" 

Peter closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes, Mr. Stark?" His eyes flickered open to see the man of his dreams standing right in front of him.

"I think we need to talk," he whispered. "Sober up a bit and come outside with me." It wasn't a question, and he knew Peter was going to do it. 

Peter nodded and drank more of his water. He picked up a bottle of water from the table and nodded at Tony, who motioned for him to follow.  Everyone who saw this had a horrible feeling, they knew exactly what was happening. Peter followed Tony out the side door to where there was a small fountain by some stairs. 

The moment the cold air hit Peter's face, he was nearly knocked off his feet.  Tony held onto Peter's arm and led him to sit down on the stairs. "Are you okay?" 

Tony really did care about Peter. He had known him for what it feels like forever, and his wellbeing was so important to him. Peter had become a part of his family. Not like a son, but like a best friend that he would die for.

Peter nodded and leaned back, getting comfortable. "Yes, thanks, are you okay? Do you feel fine? Are you cold? Do you need my jacket?" He jabbered on. 

Tony laughed, "Yeah Peter I'm good… That was quite a song up there," 

Peter blushed and nodded before hiding himself by drinking from the massive glass in his hand. 

"Wavy blonde hair. Roses. Do I really make you feel invisible?"

Peter noted how Tony wasn't calling him a kid. He loved that, but honestly Tony could call him anything and he would be okay with it. His eyes didn't know where to place themselves. Should he look at Tony or was that too unnerving?  He settled for a spot on the ground behind Tony.

"Uh… how'd you figure it's you?" He tried to sound serious and not like he was in dire need to kiss the man.

Tony laughed again and sat down on the floor in front of him. "Because I'm not an idiot. I saw the look in your eyes. You were singing to me weren't you?"

Peter gently nodded. He still couldn't look at him. "I was. Is that a problem?"

Tony shook his head. "Not at all. You're allowed to have your crushes."

It was Peter's turn to laugh now, it was more like a scoff but turned into laughter. "A crush?" He looked at Tony for the first time since coming outside. His hazel eyes were so beautiful, Peter could get lost in them. 

"It hasn't been a crush since… well since before I died!" He laughed, licking his lips and moving so his arms were able to lie on the stairs behind him. 

Tony's eyebrows were furrowed. "Seriously?" His expression was hard to read, it was like he was trying to figure out a hard equation in his head. 

Peter nodded and sipped more water. "Seriously." He confirmed. "I'm like your number one fan." Peter beamed. 

"How much of that song did you mean?" Tony mused. "Was it just a little of how you feel or…?"

Peter took a second to figure out what he was going to reply next. He breathed in deep, took a sip and then set his glass to the side and let his gaze meet Tony's. His own eyes were soft and dreamy, his mouth a sloppy smile as he tried to make himself look less drunk.

"Every single word. I meant every single fucking word, Mr. Stark."

Tony swallowed and nodded. This was a lot of information to take in and process. How could he not have seen this? How could they spend so much time together and he didn't notice the lovesick man beside him. 

"Okay." 

Peter sensed that Tony had no idea what to do with this information. He felt a little bit soberer now.

"It's my turn to speak Mr. Stark." He finished off the glass of water, wiped his mouth and began to talk.

"I'm not expecting anything. I don't expect you to even care, it's not like I'm important. It's just the way I feel, and if you want, you can pretend this didn't happen and we can go back to normal, I don't mind, because I don't want to make you uncomfortable at all, in any way.  I just ask you one thing," 

He watched as Tony nodded again, letting him know he can carry on.

"Don't push me away because of this, don't kick me out your life, if I can't have you, I can at least have the minimum Tony time I can. I'm too far gone Mr. Stark if I stop seeing you every day I'll break."

Both of them had watery eyes, watching each other. Tony looked genuinely upset, and Peter was so in love, trying to keep his feelings as tucked up as possible.

"I'll never kick you out my life Peter," Tony spoke after a while, his voice croaky. "I need you around."

Peter's smile returned, tears still threatening to leave his eyes. "You do?"

"Yeah Pete," Tony confirmed. "I do. And what the hell makes you think you're not important?" 

Peter looked at him in confusion. "I'm not… I'm nothing special, I'm just plain old Peter.",

Tony shook his head fast. "Nope. Not true. You know that. You're not just some kid, you're an important part of this team, of this world, and of my life. Don't ever forget that Pete."

"How am I important to you?"

Tony licked his lips, tilting his head slightly. He felt for the man, Peter had no idea how much of a good man he was. It killed him knowing Peter didn't see himself as anything.  "Peter you're the nicest person I've ever met. You've never left my side even when I was an asshole. You've grown as a person, you've picked up everything I've ever taught you. You've saved lives, you've loved like it was the only thing on earth worth doing even though the world has never been kind to you, and you've given your heart to a worthless old man like me." Tony laughed at that last bit. 

"Don't you ever say you're not important. Every fucking person in that room," he pointed towards the door where everyone was on the other side were. "They love you, and without you, we wouldn't be half as happy as we are now. If it weren't for you, Happy and May wouldn't have found each other."

Peter looked sad again, he never thought of himself as much. He wanted to be like Tony, but every time he tried he was just beaten down. All these lovely things Tony was saying to him made his heart glow, but saddened him too, because he couldn't bring himself to believe it. But Tony did.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark. I appreciate it." He solemnly looked at his feet. "What you think of me means a lot."

"Then how come you look so sad?"

"Because it makes me want to kiss you, and I can't."

Tony sat in silence. That wasn't a good idea for them to do. Both full of alcohol, one married and one depressed. Kissing was a big nono. Especially because he wasn't planning on entertaining the man.  But still, he wanted to do something that could make Peter happy. He didn't want to play with his heart or get his hopes up that Tony would turn around and confess his undying love.

Something inside him… wanted to kiss the man. Why? He had no idea why, he knew that Peter wanted this, and it would stop those sad tears from staining his cheeks. 

He needed to know more. "Peter, I'm sorry but I have to ask," he paused for a second. Peter looked deep into his eyes as he spoke.

"I need to know some more about this if you'll indulge me… like, how long? How do you feel? Are you hurting?" 

Tony really did care about the man. How could he not? They'd been in each other's lives for so long and Peter had become one of his closest friends. He wanted Peter to be happy, and knowing that he wasn't made him feel awful.

"Honestly?" Peter laughed awkwardly. "I'm always hurting." He rubbed his eyes. "You're my sun, Mr. Stark. When I'm alone, missing you, it hurts to know that she is wrapped around you. When I'm with you and it's just us, everything is perfect. And then Pepper is there and it hurts again. I breathe you, Tony."  Peter's voice was soft and dreamy, everything he said was filled with love. 

"How do you feel now?" 

"Mmmm," Peter thought. He spoke about Tony as if he forgot who he was talking to.  "It's weird. I'm embarrassed, but it's you so I feel safe. And I'm totally drunk which means every time I think about Pepper I want to cry, but it's just you and me here so I feel buzzed. I like having time just us,"

Peter searched Tony's face for some sort of reaction. He couldn't quite place what it was the man was feeling or thinking, which was weird because he usually could.  "I can't read you like I normally can Mr. Stark. What are you thinking?" His voice was soft as he leaned forward to be closer to him.

Tony was still sitting on the ground, his hands not knowing where to sit. He ruffled his own hair and then stretched them out to lie on his legs.  "I don't know Peter. I'm confused."

They both sat in awkward silence for a minute. Peter had no idea what to say to make things better.  "I'm sorry." He mumbled, pulling himself to stand, holding onto the railing. He stumbled, falling forward as Tony stood up. Peter fell into Tony, who held him up by grabbing at his waist. 

"You okay Pete?" Tony asked quietly, feeling kind of fuzzy as Peter was pressed up against him. They stood chest to chest as Peter peered up at him with those big, beautiful eyes. 

Peter nodded, he was unable to speak, he suddenly felt like he was dreaming. His heart was racing, his pulse quickened, and he was now unable to even think. Peter loved the feeling of being so close to Tony, feeling his warm hands on his back and his chest pressed against his.

He didn't want to move, and then it dawned on him. It had been a good twenty seconds, and Tony didn't move away either.  There was something in his eyes that Peter couldn't understand. But he felt Tony's breath change, he was nervous, breathing more heavily and faster than he was before. 

"Mr. Stark?" He whispered, looking from eye to eye. "Tony?" His voice was so quiet Tony could only just hear him. 

Tony found himself mesmerized by Peter's lips. His eyes flicked from his lips to his eyes and back again. Tony watched as Peter licked his lips.  He had no control over what he was doing. Peter had gone over this moment a hundred times, but he didn't think it was right for him to make a move. Although he desired it, he was fully aware of the rules.

It was Tony who made the first move. He ever so slowly, lowered his head, hearing Peter's breath hitch. Their lips hovered over each other. Peter's eyes were completely shut, bursting with anticipation. 

Tony studied him for a second before closing the distance, softly pressing his lips against Peters. His eyes were shut as he felt he felt Peter melt in his arms the second they collided. Their lips moved against each other cautiously, terrified of what was transpiring between them. 

Tony felt the younger man kiss him back, his soft fingers gently rising to his neck, caressing him. 

Peter's heart was exploding, this was the best feeling. He was kissing Tony fucking Stark and it was magical. His lips tasted amazing, like whiskey and chocolate. He imagined over and over again every night, but never knew it would be this fantastic. He only wished he was soberer because tomorrow he wouldn't remember the exact feel of the older man's lips.

Tony's arms moved more around his back, inching his mouth open as he let his tongue move towards Peter's mouth. 

Then he heard an enchanting sound. Peter moaned against him, his hands pulling Tony's head closer. Tony forgot who he was kissing and pulled Peter's hips closer to him. They were completely pressed against each other as the kiss became more urgent,  Tony bit down on Peter's bottom lip, receiving the most attractive whimper from the younger man. They continued to make out, forgetting that they needed to breathe.

The two of them finally broke apart, foreheads resting against each other as they tried to regain their breaths. 

"Fuck Pete…" Tony groaned as his eyes stayed shut. Peter was grinning, still holding onto him.

"You'll have to do that again when I'm sober," Peter spoke softly with a hint of a smile in his voice. "I can kiss so much better when I'm sober."

Tony tightened his grip on the man. "I think we should go back inside before someone comes out here looking for us."

Peter nodded, "Probably." He agreed, hating the fact they were about to break apart. "But first," he whispered. 

Tony opened his eyes and looked at him, instead of speaking, Peter pressed against him once more for another kiss, going in like it was his only mission on earth.  Tony found himself moaning at the touch, this was so new to him. Everything about this was wrong and stupid, and it was like opening up a humongous can of worms. 

Nothing was ever going to be the same again. And it scared him shitless.

  
  
  
  



	2. I Won't Give Up

Everything had changed. Now Peter had tasted the closest thing to heaven humanly possible and his heart immediately changed. He felt more adult, more mature and ready to fight for the man he loved.  Although Peter knew now what his heart was set on, the man he loved did not. 

Tony hadn't spoken to him for an entire week. They used to text each other all the time to discuss whether or not Peter would come in that day, or to tell each other what they had done that day. Peter missed the evening texts with jokes Tony had thought up about Strange. 

But he was ignoring Peter, and as the days passed not a single call or text came through. Every time Peter reached out, it was like he was texting nothing.  The younger man felt as if his heart was shattering, shards of said heart, jagging into him and causing a pain that he had never known. He found it hard to sleep because the only thing in his head was the smile on Tony's face and the sensitive touch of his fingers.

Thinking back to that moment, standing outside and looking at each other with a change in the air. Tony's strong arms were wrapped around him, keeping him safe and warm. Peter closed his eyes and took himself back to that moment, where their lips touched and his entire body felt as if it were thrown into anti-gravity. He could have soared through the skies, but now he felt like crashing into the ground and smashing into a billion pieces. 

Tony told him he would never push him away, but that's exactly what he was doing and it was more pain than he thought it would be. 

It had been a week. On Sunday, Peter texted him to ask what days he could come in. On Monday, he checked in to make sure Tony was okay. Monday night, he asked if he could come in.  Monday turned into Wednesday, turned into Friday. And now Peter was sitting on his bed, surrounded by an aura of guilt and heartbreak. He was such a fucking idiot, he shouldn't have sung, he shouldn't have let Tony take him outside. This was all his fault. 

Peter told MJ and Ned what happened, and they were pissed with Tony. Friends stick up for friends and they weren't going to let their best friend go through this alone. MJ decided they were going to spend Saturday night together at her new apartment, a proper friend sleepover with immense amounts of pizza, junk food and drink. Drink was a must.

"You see, in order to get over someone you need to hate them," MJ told the two of them when coining the idea. "And the best way to hate someone is get drunk as fuck with a few good friends and bitch about him all night."

So that's what they were going to do, get pissed and remember that you don't need dates when you have mates. 

It was midnight, and they had movies on in the background. The floor was covered in takeaway boxes and bottles, they were all in their pajamas and talking loudly over each other. MJ had made the entire room into a cinema, and there was covers and pillows filling the place up.

"I'm telling you, he's not a jerk!" Peter protested, "He's lovely and he's got a big heart!"

MJ scoffed as she rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink. 

"Yeah but not one he's sharing!" Ned spoke up. "If he isn't a jerk then how come you're sittin' here moping clutching fucking alcohol?"

Ned was right. Mr. Stark was being a jerk, and he had to know why. He wasn't just an ornament to sit on the shelf until Tony remembered he was there, he deserved better than this.

"Maybe he IS a jerk…" Peter mumbled.

"YOu need to tell him! Tell him he's a prick or I'll do it!" MJ warned him as she sat cross-legged against the wall. "He doesn't have the right to kiss you and then yeet you out of his life!" 

Ned was nodding fast in agreement, "She is so right,  _ you _ are  _ so right!" _ He turned to her and then to face Peter.

"He isn't worth shit!" 

"But he iiiiiiisssss," Peter whined, clutching a bottle of vodka in his arms. "He was just so… you know? And his lips… why the fuck hasn't he called me!?" 

MJ scoffed and took a bite of the pizza from the plate beside her. "You should call HIM!" 

"That's a good idea, Pete!" Ned replied loudly, "Because then you can get closure! Like in friends!"

MJ grimaced at Ned for bringing up TV shows at a time like this, but he was right. Peter pulled out his phone from his pocket and stared down at it. There was a photograph of him and Tony on the lock screen.

"That's just saaaaad!" Ned exclaimed as he looked at it too. "Look MJ!" He snatched the phone and showed her. 

MJ took the phone and laughed in annoyance. "This is ridiculous! Literally!" she clicked on Tony's number and pressed the call button, chucking it to an unexpecting Peter. 

His eyes were wide and he cursed as he put the bottle down and stood up, he was going to do it, fuck MJ for pressing call. He stood up so he could pace around as he spoke, nerves going wild inside him.  It rang five times before Tony answered, and Peter was shitting himself, he had no idea what he wanted to say, and it was so hard considering Tony had the most attractive voice to man.

"Hey Peter, what's wrong?" Tony sounded sleepy and slightly worried. He had obviously been fast asleep as the phone rang on his nightstand.

"What's wrong?" Peter repeated him, laughing bitterly. "You've ignored me for so long!" His voice was accusing and filled with sorrow.

"Pete -"

"No Tony, no! You lied to me!" Peter was so glad he was drunk because doing this sober was a pain that he didn't want to feel. Peter used his free hand to hold onto his neck as he spoke.

"You told me I was important to you!" He could feel a lump in his throat as he continued to talk. "But you LlED to me! Did you just kiss me out of pity Stark?" He hiccupped, looking down at his friends who were drunkenly encouraging him. 

"You can't play with people's feelings like that! I love you, you stupid tin man! And you jus… You just threw me away like my feelin's don' matter at all!" He paused as tears were forming in his eyes, one dripping down his cheek. 

"Peter." Tony's voice wasn't angry, but Peter hadn't heard him use this tone before. He could hear Tony walking in the background, closing doors behind him.  "Peter, you listen to me right now. You have no right to call me like this and yell at me. You know I am a married man, and I have my reasons for staying away."

"I didn't realize it was that easy for you to just forget me." Peter sobbed into the phone.

"Forget you? Fuck Pete are you serious? You're all I've fucking thought about you lunatic! You think I didn't get all those texts? You think I didn't want to call you every night and make sure you were okay?" Tony was hurt.  Peter never even thought of the possibility that Tony could have been in turmoil over this, and that made him feel like the worst person in the world.

"Do… do you regret kissing me?"

"No." Tony replied quickly. "No, I don't. How much have you had to drink Peter?"

"I've had enough!" Peter exclaimed, "Enough to get the balls to call you and shout at you, tell you that from the moment you stopped touching me I've had the worst week and that I can't stop fucking thinking about you and the way you held me. Do you know how much that fucking kiss meant to me?"

Tony licked his lips, changing his voice back to a whisper. He was obviously hiding from Pepper in the penthouse somewhere to talk to him.  "I'm sorry you've had a bad week. I didn't mean to hurt you … fuck Pete this is all so new and fucked up."

Peter sniffled, "Do you hate me? Do you wish I didn't sing for you?" The alcohol was still coursing through his veins. 

"Not at all," Tony whispered, "I was touched, but Pete… Peter… fuck.",

Peter could hear heavy breathing over the phone. He couldn't tell whether Tony was panicking, trying not to cry or just sighing heavily. But there was a shift in the dynamic of the phone call now. He didn't want to be the reason Mr. Stark had a panic attack, so he changed his approach.

"Tony are you okay?" His voice was more sincere. MJ was trying to tell him to call him a prick and hang up, so he left the room and continued to talk to Tony in the bathroom.  There was silence from the older man, but the call was still going. 

Peter perched on the side of the bath and bowed his head as he talked into the phone softly.  "I miss you, Tony. And I'm sorry. If you want me to leave you alone forever… I will…" Peter sobbed freely, tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping from his quivering chin. "But please don't make me…"

Tony spoke softly, his voice low. There was something in his tone that made Peter think he was crying too. 

"Peter… please stop crying, it's breaking my heart." He admitted, his voice wavered. "I don't want you to cry."

Peter couldn't have felt worse, he had hurt Tony just like Tony hurt him. "I'm sorry," he tried to wipe his eyes on his arm. "I'm sorry Tony… I miss you so much it hurts."  Tony waited a few seconds before he swallowed hard and continued to talk. 

"Don't apologize. There's no need to, I should be apologizing to you. I'm not handling any of this well at all, you have to understand Pete… I'm straight, and I suddenly at the age of 43 have feelings for a man, a young man, and I'm married."

"You…" Peter's voice wavered as his body shivered, trying to get a hold of himself. "You have feelings for me?"

Tony was quiet again, "I don't know Peter, I'm… confused and I'm panicking," he tried to keep his breathing under control. "This doesn't make sense Peter, I don't like men. But you… you're different."

"Please don't keep pushin' me out. You don't have to make up your mind in a second, you don't have to decide anything, but not seein' you is a punishment I can't handle,"

He could hear that Tony wasn't doing okay at the other end of the phone. 

"I'm so sorry," the words came out Tony's mouth like they were being yanked out, he was finding it hard to speak, he didn't know how to react. All Tony knew was that he was in turmoil and had hurt someone close to him. 

"Tony, breathe okay? It's okay," he said in a hushed tone. "Close your eyes and just focus on your breathing."

Tony did just that, clenching his eyes shut and trying to regulate his breathing. 

"I'll tell you what, I could sing to you. Would that help?"

Tony's reply was barely higher than a whisper, "You could try it."

Peter climbed into the empty bath, lying down and holding the phone to his ear. His voice was soft, but it broke a few times as he tried to sing, a lump still threatening to cut off his air supply.

_ "When I look into your eyes _

_ It's like watching the night sky _

_ Or a beautiful sunrise _

_ So much they hold"  _

Peter couldn't believe he was singing to the man again. And this time, another love song, but one that was just for them to share.

_ "And just like them old stars _

_ I see that you've come so far _

_ To be right where you are _

_ How old is your soul?" _

Tony's breathing was getting slower over the phone, his singing seemed to be helping the panic die out. It was the most important thing to Peter right now that Tony was okay, never mind about him and his own heart.

_ "I won't give up on us _

_ Even if the skies get rough _

_ I'm giving you all my love _

_ I'm still looking up." _

Peter's eyes were closed, thinking about Tony curled up in a chair somewhere listening to him serenade him drunkenly in the middle of the night.

_ "And when you're needing your space _

_ To do some navigating _

_ I'll be here patiently waiting _

_ To see what you find." _

He swallowed hard as he decided to finish after the next few lines, his heart feeling every fucking word like a knife. If someone had a voodoo doll of him somewhere, they were having a field day.

_ "Cos even the stars they burn _

_ Some even fall to the earth _

_ We got a lot to learn _

_ God knows we're worth it _

_ No I won't give up" _

After he finished, Tony cleared his throat, hesitating before replying. "That was beautiful. Thank you. Peter I -" 

The conversation changed when Tony's voice perked up and cut himself off. "Oh, Hey Pep! Sorry just work stuff -" he hung up the phone. 

And there Peter remained, crying in the bathtub, trying to understand what the fuck to make from that phone call. When he went back into the room, MJ and Ned were excited to hear what was said. 

"Sooo? Did you tell him?" MJ questioned him. "Did you tell him he's a fucking asshat?"

Peter shook his head and reclaimed his spot on the floor which was covered in pillows and duvets. "He seemed sincere… like he apologized." He spoke softly.

Ned and MJ looked at each other with an unimpressed look on their faces. 

"He's got you wrapped around his finger," Ned commented, leaning back to lie on the makeshift bed on the floor. 

  
  
  
  
  



	3. I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtLVXBqfqBY

It was 8 am on Monday morning when Peter woke up to his phone ringing. His eyes were almost glued together in sleep as he felt around for his phone. The brightness from his screen nearly blinded him as he checked who was calling him.

_ Tony. _

"Uh, hey Mr. Stark, everything okay?" He answered, moving to sit up against the wall behind him.

"Are you coming in today?" Tony replied. 

"If that's good with you then yes, of course, is that okay?"

"Yes, that's okay. Come in soon we need to upgrade the suits and it could take up to four hours."

Peter cleared his throat and closed his eyes as he let himself enjoy talking to the older man. Finally, things were going back to normal! Even though he was drunk, the phone call was definitely the best thing he could have done. It certainly felt like things were going to be okay between them.

"Will Pepper be there?"

He heard Tony cough before answering. "No, it'll just be us. She's in meetings all day."

Peter felt himself smile and had the sudden urge to jump in the shower and race over to Stark towers as fast as he could. 

"I'll be there in an hour Mr. Stark." He said warmly. 

"See you soon Pete." Tony hung up the phone. 

Peter paused for a moment to ponder over how this day could go. Worst case scenario, Tony would tell him that they had to stop seeing each other for a while. Best case scenario, Tony would fuck him vigorously against his desk.  Anywhere in between is just fine with him.

Peter jumped out of bed and raced to the shower to get ready.

-

Tony sat at his desk, radio playing quietly in the background. Tom Waits sounded through the room, mocking him. 

_ 'Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you _

_ 'Cause falling in love just makes me blue _

_ Well the music plays and you display _

_ Your heart for me to see _

_ I had a beer and now I hear you _

_ Calling out for me _

_ And I hope that I don't fall in love with you' _

Tony should sue Tom Waits for this, coming on the moment he was thinking about Peter. He wanted to spend time with him and keep him around, but he couldn't let himself fall in love. That would be worse than anything in the world. He loved Pepper, he was straight and married and had no reason to change things now. **It's a little late for latency**, he told himself. This has to be nothing, just a chemical defect from alcohol. 

-

9.03 am and Peter skipped through the door of the lab. Tony noticed straight away and watched him out of the corner eye. Stark didn't know what to say to begin with, he had no idea how to act, but all he knew was that he was happier that Peter was there.  Peter slumped down on his chair at his desk across from Tony's. He spun around to look at Tony.

"Hey," Peter's hopeful and soft voice rang out.

"Hey, Pete. Good to see you." His voice was low, like he was unsure of what to say.

"It's great to see you too. I missed you." Peter confessed as he picked up his bag to pull his suit out and chuck it onto Tony's desk.

Tony watched him and his eyes locked on the suit that was now in front of him. He had missed Peter too, but he didn't know how to voice it.  Instead of talking he picked it up and programmed Friday to conduct the updates.  Peter was now sitting cross-legged on his desk as he waited for Tony to set things up.  Once the suit was in for an upgrade, Tony leaned his back against his desk, facing where Peter was but staring down at his feet. 

"Are you ever gonna look at me again Mr. Stark?" Peter's small voice spoke up.

"Give me a minute Pete." He mumbled as he breathed in, preparing himself. Slowly he lifted his head up and old brown eyes met young hazel ones. 

Tom Waits lyrics flowed through his mind.

  
  


_ 'Well the room is crowded, people everywhere _

_ And I wonder, should I offer you a chair? _

_ Well if you sit down with this old clown _

_ Take that frown and break it _

_ Before the evening's gone away _

_ I think that we could make it _

_ And I hope that I don't fall in love with you' _

  
  


The stress from his face disappeared instantly, as the sweet younger man smiled at him with that angelic face. Tony felt himself melt and forgot why it took him so long to look at him. Peter could sense the man ease up and flush all that tension away.

"Hey," he smiled softly.

"Hey." Peter replied cutely.

Tony flicked his tongue out over his bottom lip before. "It's good to see you."

"It has been a while," Peter shrugged. "But I'm happy you called."

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that Peter. I should explain myself, and it's helpful now that none of us are drunk." He chuckled lowly.  Peter nodded, his mouth still half curved in a smile. He stayed quiet to let Tony talk. Peter gave him an encouraging nod and kept eye contact.

"I don't know where to start Pete, I need you to really listen to me. Because I'm really confused." Tony looked completely lost, his eyes filled with sadness.

"Mr. Stark, I'm not going to walk out. Take your time." Peter smiled as he fumbled with his fingers.

Tony swallowed hard and nodded, looking down for a moment and then looking back up to Peter. He didn't want to keep eye contact but he needed the younger man to know he was being sincere.

"I think I might like you." Tony whispered. "And it's worse because I don't know. I'm not gay. I'm not even bisexual. And I'm married… to… to a woman."

Peter nodded. He was really glad Tony edited out her name, he didn't want to hear it right now.

"That night when you kissed me it was like there was a switch inside me that was flicked on. And I haven't stopped thinking about it since. About you."

His voice was low and timid. It was really unusual to see Tony this way, he was usually so brave and brutal. But today he was absolutely adorable and sweet. 

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either Mr. Stark."

"For the love of god Pete call me Tony." He laughed quietly. 

Peter grinned and licked his lips. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either Tony."

The way Peter said his name made his legs want to give out right there and then. He held onto his knees and smiled again. 

"I had to stop seeing you for a bit Peter. I was scared and I thought that if I saw you again, I would kiss you. And, I'm married. I can't cheat, that's not okay. I don't want to break her heart like that."

_ 'Well, the night does funny things inside a man _

_ These old tomcat feelings you don't understand _

_ Well, I turn around to look at you, you light a cigarette _

_ I wish I had the guts to bum one, but we've never met _

_ And I hope that I don't fall in love with you' _

  
  


Peter nodded, clenching his teeth. So they are never going to happen. Great. 

"I thought about you every night. In fact, I was thinking about you when you called. That phone call was really hard Peter."

Peter felt himself welling up like there was a lump in his throat. If he spoke he was going to cry, so he just nodded and wiped his eyes before anything fell out. His gaze was fixated on Tony's hands rather than his face.

"I never meant to hurt you. I was frightened, and I feel like shit. But hearing you cry…" his voice trailed off. His eyes were down too, trying not to feel pathetic.

Tony could hear Peter sniffling, trying to will himself not to sob. "That was horrible, I can't hear you cry Pete. Especially knowing it was me that made you cry. I never forgot you and I never will. You understand that?" 

He looked up to see Peter's reddened face. Peter nodded and moved in his seat, huffing out a breath and trying to keep himself under control. 

"Yeah," his voice croaked out. "I'm sorry about crying. You just, you drive me mad Tony. You don't realize how much I'm head over heels for you. I can't explain how painful it was to be kicked out like that. But I understand now, and I'm sorry…" he began to sob silently, trying to hold it back because he didn't want to hurt Tony again.

"I'm sorry I was such a child." He placed his hands over his face and tried to muffle himself.

_ 'I can see that you are lonesome just like me _

_ And it being late, you'd like some company _

_ Well, I turn around to look at you, and you look back at me _

_ The guy you're with, he's up and split—the chair next to you is free _

_ And I hope that you don't fall in love with me.' _

  
  


Peter could hear Tony shuffle about and before he could look up, he was being pulled forward and wrapped in Tony's arms. He let his legs swing off the side of the table and rested his head into the older man's chest.  Tony's hands smoothed over his back as Peter sobbed into him. The older man kissed his forehead and rested his head on top of Peter's. Tony let out a tear or two too. He felt like his heart was shattering just watching this gorgeous young man fall apart over him.

"It's okay Pete. We are both okay. You weren't a child. I hurt you and that's my fault, you had every right to be upset. I was the one who kissed you after all." He whispered. 

As Peter's sobs calmed down, he was still against the older man. His arms found themselves around Tony's hips.

"Listen," Tony told him. "This can't happen. You and I, it's not that I don't like you, but that we are different ages and stages in life. I'm married, but I never ever want to lose you. In fact, I want you in my life more than I had you before."

Peter breathed in Tony's scent one last time then pulled away to look up at him. His sweet and innocent face looked helplessly up to Tony.  Tony was looking down at him with a warm and loving gaze, his fingers grazing over the younger man's hair, removing the curls from his forehead. 

"What do you mean by that Tony? You want me but you don't want me? You're not being very clear."

Tony let his fingers trace Peter's hairline and answered in almost a whisper. 

"Can we be best friends? Can we be close and just enjoy each other's company without feelings getting in the way?"

Peter laughed awkwardly, "Feelings are already in the way Tony, but yeah, if it means I still get to see you and be close to you then I'm game. I'd rather see you platonically than love you from afar. What does 'best friends' entail?"

Tony shrugged and stroked Peter's back. "It doesn't include kissing or anything Pete, but we can hang out, go have fun, work together, have dinner. Movie nights. Literally, whatever you do with MJ and Ned, we can do together."

Peter sighed heavily and agreed with him. "Yeah, that sounds good Tony. I'm happy with that. Am I still allowed to love you?"

Tony paused, his heart pounding when he heard the L-word. That adorable man was going to kill him with his cuteness. He could cope with being admired and loved by his best friend. This could work out well.

"You're always allowed to love me."

"Can I tell you I love you? You know… from time to time?" 

Tony cleared his throat. He should say no, but fuck he wanted to hear it. He hesitant replied.  "Within reason, and when we are alone. Yeah, you can."

Peter felt himself blush, that was all he wanted. Now he didn't have to hide, and he could live without physical contact or without being loved back. He had his best friend who he loved and got to spend time with. Perfect.  Tony kissed the top of his head again and pulled away from him, both of them already missed the comforting warmth of the other man. 

"We should probably not cuddle as much," Tony told him. 

Peter nodded and jumped down off of the table, checking the update to see how much it had left.

"Understood Tony, I'm gonna go upstairs and get us a soda. Do you want one?"

Tony pulled his chair close to his desk and sat down, picking up his StarkPad and pen.

"Please," he grinned as he watched Peter head towards the door.

"I'll be back in a few minutes Tony, I love you." Before Tony could spin around and react to him, the man was out the door and heading upstairs.

What the fuck had he got himself into?

_ 'Now, it's closing time _

_ The music's fading out _

_ Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout _

_ Well, I turn around to look at you—you're nowhere to be found _

_ I search the place for your lost face—guess I'll have another round _

_ And I think that I just fell in love with you.' _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, had a bit of a writing slump lately. Hopefully, I can be more frequent.


	4. Secondhand Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relatively long chapter filled with angst sandwiched between cutesy moments. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG0zMd3qoQc - song to go along with it.

**PART ONE**

_ 'I know that look, I know those eyes _

_ She broke you down again, I'm not surprised _

_ Every time you show up here again _

_ Hands in your pocket, heart on your sleeve _

_ Telling me all about what you need _

_ Lean in close, well I'll take what I can get' _

And so the age of Tony and Peter being best friends had begun. Peter was living his best life, and was planning to spend as much time as he wanted with the man of his dreams. Sure there were no touching or kissing, no sweet moments or whispered confessions of love, but Peter decided he could deal with that for now.  Tony liked him, that's all that mattered. Marriage was an important thing to him, so Peter had to respect that. Keeping a distance was going to be fine.  Peter was going to keep to Tony's rules and keep his feelings inside as much as he could, although he may not be able to help the blushing.

Peter was walking around a clothing store with Ned, helping him pick out clothes for a date as his phone went off. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw that Tony was on the caller ID.  The younger man grinned, blushing as he put the phone to his ear. 

"Hello?" Peter asked sweetly. 

"Hey Pete, it's me!' Tony replied in a happy tone.

"Heyy," Peter smiled as he walked slowly through the store, letting his fingers touch the clothes as he passed by. 

"How are you doing?"

"Yeah good. I'm just out shopping with Ned. Up to much?"

"As a matter of fact, I've got to go to a meeting at Stark Industries but I am planning on going out for dinner. Pepper and I had a fight, and I was hoping my best friend would be around?" 

Peter bit down on his lip hard as he walked through the store, picking up a shoe and looking at it before putting it back down.  "What time? We can talk about it then."

"Hopefully by six? I'll make a reservation. Need me to pick you up?" Tony sounded happy, which he seemed to always be as of late.

"I'll be in town, I can meet you there. Where are we going?"

"There's a place called 'Valhalla' it's kinda fancy. You up for it?" 

Peter tried to suppress his excitement, remembering that they were just friends. This meant nothing at all, but somewhere in his mind, Peter told himself it was a date.

"Yeah sure. I should be done by then, text me the address and I'll meet you there."

Tony chuckled on the other side of the phone, "Well I wouldn't want to take up too much of your precious time there Pete. I'll see you later."

"It's always okay if it's you! See you then!"

"Bye Peter,"

"Bye!" Peter finished and hung up the phone. He felt like flying, a dinner date with his boy… I mean best friend.

This was fine. Wasn't it?

-

Tony had arrived at the restaurant on time and waited ten minutes before the waiter walked through to his table with Peter in tow. 

"Here you are Sir," the waiter pulled out his chair and pushed it in after Peter sat down. 

Peter was wearing black trousers and a black blazer with a white T-shirt underneath. He looked devilishly handsome, as usual. The conversation didn't go stale, and everything was going right. Just two friends being dudes.  Tony was doing really well keeping things to the level of best friend. He got to keep his marriage intact and just keep things with Peter like normal. Throughout dinner, there was no flirting, no touching, no cutesy eye contact, both respecting the boundaries put in place.

"And I take it you fired her after that?" Peter laughed, finishing off his food.

Tony motioned with his hand, "Of course! If I didn't Stark Industries would be decorated with fluorescent pink everywhere!" He grinned. 

"I don't know, I think it may have worked," the younger jested.

Tony shot him a joking glare and chuckled deeply. "You never know." 

Peter added salt to his last mouthful and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "So this fight with Pepper? Want to talk about it?"

Tony sighed and picked up his glass, spinning the liquid around as he watched it. "Basically she wants kids. Now."

Peter looked surprised and slightly hurt at the same time. He knew where they stood, but he was so fucking jealous of that woman it was unreal.  "What do you want?" Peter cleared his throat, his voice sounded completely emotionless as he kept a straight face. Tony sensed he was affected by the idea of him and his wife bringing another person into the world.

"I don't want kids, I mean… never say never but right now? No, I don't want them. I'm not ready… but she is like, trying to rush me."

"Tony if you don't want them don't let her make you, it's supposed to be a partnership."

Tony raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Yeah. But it's the whole biological clock thing."

"You have more than enough money to freeze her eggs. Not that I care but that's always an option."

Peter sat back and looked around the room. He really felt like there were pins attacking his heart as they spoke about this. It was still a problem to him, the fact that Pepper got to touch him, hold him, kiss him. And what did Peter get? Best friend-zoned. He would have to now watch as the love of his life tried for a kid, meaning he would be in bed knowing she and Tony are together in that way. Then the two of them would have a bond that was more permanent than marriage. 

"Yeah, Peter. It is. I know it's hard to talk about, but I don't have anyone else to talk to about it." Tony sounded deflated as he wracked his brain with his internal struggle. 

"I understand, and I may not like it but you can always talk to me about stuff. You're worth it." Peter was still feeling distant. 

There were a few seconds of silence before he let himself look into Tony's eyes again and he melted almost instantly.

"After all of that, is business going well? I know you said last time there was that disgruntled guy adding bugs in your system?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah I sorted all that, honestly it took us a week to find who it was, but they felt my wrath."

"Your wrath?" Peter giggled sweetly. "Christ I haven't seen your wrath in like… ages!" He continued to laugh.

Tony watched him and smiled warmly, "You won't have to again hopefully, providing you don't piss me off." 

Peter fake gasped, resting his hand on his chest. "Meee? Piss  _ you _ off? Never." 

The older man let out a small laugh and scrunched up his nose. "Not in a while anyway. I'm watching you kid"

Peter laughed, stuck out his tongue and finished his meal.

"This is actually working, isn't it? You and I being close like this?" Tony asked him.

Peter nodded and took a sip of his drink. "It is." He put the glass down. "I mean, it hasn't changed the way I feel, and if I'm honest Tony, nothing will! But I definitely feel like being your best friend could work."

Tony took a mouthful off his fork and checked his watch. "Yeah, I'm happy about it."

"Can I ask you something though?" Peter asked quietly, unsure of what exactly he wanted to say.

Tony searched his face and nodded. "Go ahead."

"I know  _ we _ will never happen. I understand that and I understand why, and I'm happy with what we have…"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Buuuut?"

"But, I would just like it if… well, could you… how do you…" Peter was stammering as he spoke, getting himself flustered, he rubbed his forehead as his eyes flitted around the room trying to find something to focus on.

The older man patiently waited for Peter to calm himself down. "Take your time," he spoke softly.

Peter huffed as he clenched his jaw. "How do you feel about me, Tony? Has it changed? I know it's pointless, but for my own sake… I kinda need to hear it. Even if it's just like… once a year."

Tony laughed, not out of hilarity. He saw that Peter was worried and he had no reason to be. 

"Peter." He said, getting the man's attention. "I like you. I shouldn't, and it's not right, but I do."

Peter blushed and leaned forward. "Is it too much to ask you what you mean by 'like'?"

Tony looked amused and leaned forward too, talking in hushed tones.  "Like as in, I have weird and foreign feelings of a crush for you. As in, I find you endearing and beguiling. You're a very handsome young man, very intelligent and talented. Don't think I haven't noticed. Your body is… the only man's body I wouldn't kick out of bed. And that's not going to change either."

Peter's mouth gaped open, his eyes dreamy and aching to happy cry, his face flushed. 

"That okay Pete? You can live on that for a year?"

Peter nodded, still fixated on everything that Tony had just said to him. "I can definitely live off that." He took a sip of water to fix his dry mouth. His heart was beating so fast he couldn't think.  Tony sat back and called the waiter over for the dessert menu as Peter processed everything. When he was back in the room with Tony he had a look at the menu and finally spoke again.

"Being best friends is gonna be easy. I'll can totally just put all that to the side." 

"Excellent," Tony licked his lips. "Couldn't be more excited."

-

Over the next month or so, things worked out really well. They spent a lot of time working together in the lab, meeting for lunch after meetings and catching the odd movie from time to time.  Just like normal friends, and it felt like normal friends. Though it started to change a little over time, the physical interactions increased from nothing to a little. 

When they went golfing together, Tony taught Peter the right way, standing behind him and arms around him, guiding his way. It looked normal to other players, but Peter played terrible on purpose so Tony would press his crotch against his butt. Of course, the older man knew what he was doing, and played along as if he didn't.  When he putted a ball, they hugged. When Peter met him in the office for lunch, they hugged. When they parted from each other, you guessed it, they hugged.

Tony would be with the other avengers and take selfies with them to send Peter or would text him funny things they said. Everyone around them noticed their friendship getting closer, but they didn't want to ask or assume anything, in case, of course, the two didn't notice this and suddenly got weirded out or upset by any accusations made about their friendship.

The clincher for Steve was when he and Tony were sitting in the penthouse having a discussion over a drink. They hadn't seen each other in a week and Steve had brought over a ridiculous amount of food for them to stuff themselves with.  Tony's phone rang on the table and turns out it was a video call from Peter. Tony suddenly turned his attention to the phone and accepted the call.

"Heeey!" Tony accepted and beamed into the camera.

"Hey! So I did it! I finally managed to write the entire of The Phantom Menace from memory as per your bet and Ned is away marking it! If I get more than half right you owe me a new tv."

"I've already bought it!" Tony laughed, "It's sitting waiting to be picked up, didn't doubt you for a second."

"NO WAY!" Peter giggled and grinned widely. "How big is it?"

"About 50 inches I think. Is that big enough?" 

Steve watched as he was tossed to the side while the two caught up and laughed together. Tony was lighting up, acting like Peter was the most important thing to him. It was weird, Tony never acted like this with anyone. And he was sure Tony told him he only spoke to Peter last night.

About a week later, Steve had booked out a bowling alley for a big group of them. It was just them in the building.  Strange, Steve, Bucky, Banner, Pepper, Tony and Thor were all having a laugh and a drink as they waited for their last member. They were playing a practice game and Banner was busy berating Strange for using his powers to win. 

Tony was standing nearby, checking his watch as Pepper draped around him, laughing at the exchange between their friends. 

"Is this not a battle of skills?" Strange retorted, perching on the bench, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah but human skills, you don't see me hulking up to knock a few pins down, be normal for once would you?"

Thor chimed in with, "So can I use my hammer or not? Because humans have hammers… they're not as cool as mine, none are as cool as mine, but I've seen people use one for nails and… croquet."

"If Thor uses his hammer I can use my powers." Strange stated. Banner was about to pull out his own hair as Bucky and Steve walked back from the bar with more drinks. 

"No you can't use your hammer or your powers, and I can't use my strength! You guys are so annoying, can we just have fun without having to pay for this place to be reconstructed?"

  
  


_ 'My heart has no pride standing here _

_ Good thing I can take the tears _

_ Sew you up as I'm tearing at the seams _

_ It's so good yeah while it lasts _

_ Go ahead and strike the match _

_ Burn me down make ashes out of me' _

  
  


Pepper rested her head on Tony's shoulder, as the doors opened and Peter skipped in. Bucky was the first one to notice him walking up to them, 

"Peter!" He called out, holding out his beer. 

Tony turned around and beamed when his eyes settled on the man. He untangled himself from Pepper and walked fast towards the younger man. They both grinned as they met for a warm embrace, which lasted longer than normal hugs did.

Pepper looked to Steve with a confused look, who shrugged and looked at Bucky. Bucky then leaned to look at Thor who nudged Strange, both staring at them.  Banner was busy setting up the boards, so he wasn't paying attention. Tony pulled away and walked towards everyone else with his hand on Peter's back. 

"You want a drink, Pete?"

Peter looked at Tony and smiled, "Yeah please I'd love one. Sorry, I'm late, I was caught up."

"Don't tell me you actually spent all night on those sketches," Tony laughed, his hand still on Peter's back, standing a little too close. 

Peter looked at him with a guilty look and the cutest look in his eyes. "Mayyybe, get me a drink and I'll tell you about it."  Tony led him towards the bar and fetched them both a drink.

"What's going on with them?" Strange asked the group. "They seem awfully… chummy."

Pepper cocked her head and watched as her husband giggled along with his mentee at the bar.  "I don't know, can't be anything serious right? They're both straight."

Bruce started coughing on his drink, getting everyone's attention. He wiped his mouth and tried to clear his throat. 

"What?" Pepper asked him, "They are both straight right?"

Bruce looked down at Strange as he tried to figure out what to say.

"Well, they haven't ever told me they aren't?" He offered. That was true, the words  _ "I'm not straight." _ Has never left their mouths. 

"Tony is probably just being the dad he needs," Bucky suggested. "They seem very father/son to me."

Pepper eased up and looked back to Tony who looked like he was heavily into explaining something, she smiled. "Yeah, they do."

Halfway through the second game, Peter got his first strike, and he spun around with his hands in the air, a huge smile plastered on his face.  Tony was there to congratulate him, of course, he was as happy as Peter was, even though they were on different teams.  Everyone turned a blind eye. Every single person knew how Peter felt, but Tony was confusing them. Luckily Pepper had settled on the father/son idea and thought no more about it.

  
  


**PART TWO **

  
  


As Peter leaned against the high table behind them, he sipped at his drink and watched Bruce take down seven pins. 

"Do you have a girlfriend yet Peter?" Pepper asked him. "Or boyfriend even?" Pepper added as Peter walked up to take his turn. 

"No, to have a partner you have to be desirable and that is the one thing I am not." He picked up a bowling ball and quickly looked around everyone.

"There's nothing wrong with you Peter," Steve told him, arm wrapped around Bucky's shoulders. "I'm sure anyone would be lucky to have you."

"Why would someone choose me, when there are so many better people out there. It's not like I'm much of a catch." He smiled before turning around and taking his turn.

Tony bit down on his cheek, he wanted to butt in and say something like  _ "Would you shut up? There is nothing wrong with you, you're perfect!"  _ Or  _ "If I wasn't married I'd take you in my arms and show you just how desirable you are." _

As Peter was taking his shot, his phone began to ring in his pocket. He pulled it out and put it to his ear.

"Hello?"

Everyone watched as the smile on his face faded and a look of panic covered it. Tony stood up immediately and paused, readying himself for whatever was going to happen.

"When?"

He covered his mouth and tried to clear his throat, his eyes watering and his face turning red. 

"Is… is she okay?" His voice broke as a tear streamed down his cheek. Peter bowed his head down, suddenly sobbing as he nodded. 

"Okay, I'm on my way. I'll see you there."

He pocketed his phone and sniffed, lifting his head up, showing everyone his tear-stained cheeks. "I have to go," he said quietly. 

Tony was in front of him now, looking down at him. "What's happened, Pete?" He asked softly.

Peter fell forward and sobbed into Tony's chest, Tony's arms wrapping around him, one hand on his head and the other on his back. 

"May's been hit by a car," he cried into Tony, sobbing loudly, as he tried to comfort himself in the older man's scent. 

"Oh my god," Tony mumbled as he held onto the younger man tighter. 

"What if I lose her Tony? She's all I have," he spoke in broken sobs. Tony felt like his heart was breaking just hearing Peter cry.

"You won't, I promise, I'm coming with you, come on, I'll give you a ride to the hospital." Tony rubbed Peter's back and pulled away slightly. 

"I'm sorry Peter, I hope she's okay," Bucky told him. 

"Give her our best," Steve added onto it. Peter nodded, still sobbing as he kicked off his bowling shoes and grabbed his out of his bag. 

When they were ready, Bruce gave Peter a hug before they left.  Tony was waiting for Peter to join him to walk about, turning to Pepper. 

"I'll text you later, don't know when I'll be home." He said, putting his hand on Peter's back and walking him out. Pepper watched as they fled the scene, sighing heavily.

As Tony and Peter reached the hospital room, the younger of the two ran in and stopped by May's bed perching on the stool beside the bed. She was lying unconscious, with tubes sticking in her arms. May had a few cuts and bruises on her face, neck, and arms. 

Peter sat properly on the stool beside her, crying as he held onto her hand. Happy was there too, on the chair between her and the window, sleeping with his hand holding May's other one. He looked like he had been crying recently. 

Tony was standing at the foot of the bed, watching them all. He felt terrible that he couldn't do anything to make things all better. He wasn't a doctor, but if things went badly he would get Banner to come in and help. Perhaps he could let her stay with him while she got better? Pay for her home help or something. 

Would Peter let him do that? He didn't really care if Peter was okay with it. If Tony could make things better for the long run he would.  As he was thinking about what would happen to his two best friends if she died, the doctor came into the room and took his attention away.  Tony didn't want to disturb Peter, so he motioned for the doctor to talk to him outside. 

"Okay, Doc what's going on?" He wanted to know first so he could help Peter through this.

The doctor leaned against the wall as they spoke, keeping his voice down as he took a glance at her chart.

"It's not as bad as it looks. She has a few broken ribs, there was some internal bleeding but we got it. There's some bruising and swelling that will take a while to heal. Her arm was dislocated, and she broke her leg. But everything will heal in time, she will need to be kept in for a few days so we can keep an eye on her."

Tony nodded taking it all in as he peered into the room to see Peter talking softly to his aunt while she still lay there unconscious.

"Has she got insurance?" Tony asked the doctor. 

The other man shook his head, "None. We were trying to get funding but it was rejected. It's going to cost a lot of money, but she isn't going to be up on her feet to work for a few months."

Tony cleared his throat, eyes still on Peter before flicking them to the doctor. "Send the bills to me, I'm going to be paying for everything. You got forms there for me to fill out?"

"Right this way sir."

-

Back in the room, Peter was sobbing by May's side. "You're not allowed to die okay? If you die I don't know what I'm going to do." A tear fell onto her arm as he held her hand to his mouth and kissed it.  Happy stirred at hearing Peter's voice, opening his eyes, and realizing he wasn't alone. He yawned, rubbed his eyes and leaned forward. 

"Hey Pete, when did you get here?" His voice was groggy and tired. 

"Not long ago, is she… is she gonna be okay?"  Peter's chin was shaking as he tried not to burst into hysterical tears. 

"She's gonna be fine, it's just going to take a while to heal. She's gonna be out for most of the night apparently." He spoke softly with a warm smile on his face.

Peter wiped his tears and nodded, putting his head down to cuddle into his aunt.  Tony came back in at that moment with three cups of coffee and handed them out. Noticing Happy still looked tired, he went over to talk to him.

"Listen Happy, you go home, get some rest and get a shower. We'll be here, and if she wakes up I'll call you."

Happy wasn't going to take the offer, to begin with, but as he turned to look at Tony he was met with a serious glare.

Happy gazed back at May and then took a sip of his coffee. "Okay, but anything happens and you call me!" 

Tony nodded, touching his shoulder. "You have my word, now go and come back later, we won't leave her side."  Happy kissed May's forehead and whispered that he loved her before grabbing his coat and saying goodbye, leaving Tony and Peter alone.  They were silent for a few moments. 

"She's gonna be okay Pete," Tony told him with a gentle warm voice. 

Peter nodded, turning his head to look up at the man, his eyes red and tear-stained. Tony just wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and look after him forever. That beautiful pale face wore so much pain and he wished that after today he would never see that face again.  He noticed a large armchair behind him which he pushed to where Peter was sitting. 

"Come here," Tony instructed, motioning for him to stand up so he could move the small seat he was on.

Tony then pushed the armchair right next to May's bed and sat down, indicating for Peter to sit on his lap. As he did, they cuddled into each other, Peter snuggling his head into Tony's shoulder. Both their eyes were closed as they held each other for comfort, both their bodies warm and holding on tightly to the other.

Tony knew this was against the rules he set in place, but right now the rules didn't matter. What mattered was that Peter was okay. He had never been this close to another man before, he never even cuddled with his father when he was a kid. Tony was surprised by how natural it felt. 

Tony's scent was intoxicating to Peter and filling up his senses with every breath. He could feel the older man breathe underneath him as he tried to keep himself calm. Tony's fingers were playing softly with his hair. It felt amazing.  Although Peter was heartbroken to see his aunt like this, she was going to be okay. He wanted to freak out about how much this was going to cost him, but as he lay in the arms of the man he loved, everything suddenly felt like things were looking up.

"Tony?" Peter whispered as he opened his eyes and let his hand sit on top of Tony's other hand gently.

"Yeah, Peter?" Tony replied.

"I love you." He snuggled more into his mentor's body, pressing tightly against him. Tony lay a soft kiss into Peter's brown curls. 

"I know Pete."

_ 'I breathe you in, breathe you in, like my first cigarette. Breathe you out, breathe you out, turning off the regret. _

_ Don't worry baby cause it's all my fault _

_ I'll take the parts that she doesn't want _

_ I breathe you in, breathe you in, take the spark with the smoke. Breathe you out, breathe you out, feel the rush as I choke _

_ I know it's worth it baby even if it's just secondhand, secondhand love' _


	5. If I Never Knew You

Two hours later, Peter was still cuddled up in Tony's arms. He was sleeping softly against his chest as Tony watched over him. The older man was wide awake and had been for hours. He spent the entire time gazing over the younger man's soft and gentle face, his arms wrapped around him to keep him safe 

Peter was beautiful. That was non-negotiable. Tony hated how he felt in this moment because he wasn't thinking about Pepper at all, and instead he was thinking about that kiss. How soft their lips moved against each other and how fucking confused that made him.

All Stark knew was that he was surprisingly and oddly attracted to his deep hazel eyes, his wonderful endearing smile, and that adorable laugh. It was the sweetest thing he had ever heard. Peter looked at Tony in a way he had never been looked at before, and he was willing to give up the option of being with the love of his life as long as he could just be friends.

Liking Peter was never in the game plan. Last year Tony and Pepper were on track, married, planning a family. But now, at 44 years old, the man was having stirrings for another.

Men weren't attractive to Tony, and the more he thought about, the less he thought he was gay. He didn't want to go to gay clubs and hit on bears or twinks and he certainly he didn't want to put a dick in his mouth or his ass.

But the weird thing was, when he looked at Peter, his mind traveled through the motions. Touching the soft skin of Peter's cheek as he slept, he had the urge to press his lips to it. 

Tony thought about what his feelings really were. He had crushes before, and this was definitely one. They could laugh together, cry together, spent all night watching movies and cooking. 

He couldn't lie to himself anymore, he really fucking wanted to kiss Peter. To taste him again, press him up against a wall and gently make out with him, tenderly and deeply. Peter's moans would be beautiful if his laugh was anything to go on. 

Peter was the exception to the rule. His body was filled out, strong and manly, but also soft and pale like a womans. His ass, which Tony had only seen through his jeans, was the finest ass he had ever seen. Kissing it wouldn't be too bad, touching it was definitely on his mind. 

Men's penises were ugly to him, but Peter's? Oh if his body was that angelic, his dick would be too. Peter would probably be so grateful that Tony was touching him anywhere that he wouldn't mind if Tony has bad at it.

He wanted to be the one to make Peter make those high pitched noises, the ones that meant he was in heaven. Even if it meant putting a dick in his mouth. 

He had never had anal sex before… and that sort of scared him, but again, it was Peter. It's like the fear drifted away when their eyes met, and that was all he could think about.

Tony tried to flush those dirty, disgusting thoughts away. Not disgusting because it was Peter… or because it was a man, but because he was married to someone he loved. He had NO intentions of having an affair, none whatsoever.

This was all too much. As much as he loved his wife, and the life they had built together, he suddenly felt like he just didn't want it anymore. 

But Peter? Peter was a kid. Legally able to drink yes, but a kid. A whole generation or two between them, but it felt like they were on the same level of maturity given the shit they had been through over the last few years. 

He just wanted to take care of Peter. Hug him when he cried, kiss him when he woke up in the morning or just before they went to sleep. Tony wanted to buy him the books he needs for college, and dress him in whatever he wanted. 

Tony didn't want to be his father, but he wanted to care for him no matter what. And god he wanted to make him cry out his name.

He kissed the top of Peter's curls, watching as he smiled in his sleep. He wondered how long his protege liked him, how long he loved him.

Peter must feel torchered, unable to touch him and still seeing him everyday. 

What Tony was doing wasn't fair, and he knew that. But he couldn't lose Peter and he didn't know what to do! 

A single tear fell from Tony's eyes as he softly sang a little tune, closing his eyes and resting his head into Peter's. 

_ "If I never knew you _

_ If I never felt this love _

_ I would have no inkling of _

_ How precious life can be _

_ And if I never knew you _

_ I would never have a clue _

_ How at last I'd find in you _

_ The missing part of me _

_ In this world so full of fear _

_ Full of rage and lies _

_ I can see the truth so clear _

_ In your eyes _

_ So dry your eyes _

_ And I'm so grateful to you _

_ I'd have lived my whole life through _

_ Lost forever _

_ If I never knew you" _

"I knew you had a good voice." Peter's sleepy voice spoke quietly. Tony kissed his head again, wanting to cry. Everything was getting too much and he had no idea what to do.

"You're always right Peter." 

\--- 

Happy turned up in the morning just as May awakened, and Tony left Peter there to spend time with her. He needed to go home to his WIFE and shower away the emotional night.

When he got to the penthouse he was met with Pepper, who had been sleeping on the sofa waiting for him to come home.

"Oh honey you didn't wait up all night did you?" He asked her as he sat beside her.

"I did," She snuggled into him, "You didn't text me."

"I'm sorry Pep, May was in a bad way. I sent Happy home because he was so defeated. I watched over her during the night as Peter slept."

"You're a good man Tony." She smiled with her head on her shoulder. "And I'm surprised, you said you didn't want to be a father but it comes so naturally to you."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're acting father for Peter?" She looked up at him, gazing into his eyes.

"No I'm not, we are just friends, there's no father son thing about this at all."

Pepper sat up and crossed her arms. "Wait, wait, wait. You expect me to believe that this weird chemistry between you guys is just friendship?"

Tony moved forward, Pepper pulling away from his side. He leaned on his knees and rubbed his face. 

"We are just best friends. I'm not ready to have a kid now Pepper. I just… I wish you would understand that."

Pepper felt a lump in her throat, she did understand. But she didn't have a lot of time left on the womb front, and she wanted a kid with the man she loved.

"But Tony, my biological clock,"

"I know, I know. I just, can we freeze them? Find a surrogate or something when I finally feel ready?"

Pepper stood up to go and fetch herself a glass of water, standing up at the sink and not turning around.

"When will that be Tony? A year from now? Five years from now? I don't want to be 80 at our kids graduation."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know Pepper. All I know is that I am not ready to be a father. I can't do this right now."

Tony stood up and made his way to the shower to wash the night away from him. He needed to sleep for the rest of the day and not think about anything. 

\---

In the hospital, Peter and Happy were sitting either side of May, talking away as they helped her eat her food. 

"The doctor said another week or so in here," Happy told her. "But don't worry we will be here all the time. You're not going to be alone."

"How am I going to pay for all this Happy? I don't have insurance, I can't stay here all week, it's too much." She croaked as her eyes were filled with worry. 

"I'm going to ask Tony for a raise and work for some of his friends as overtime," Happy told her.

"And Ned is gonna get me a job with him at the restaurant. You're not going to have to worry about money,"

They didn't notice that the doctor had walked in behind them, checking her chart as he listened to their conversation. 

"You don't need to do that." The doctor told them as he ticked something on the chart. He wasn't looking up but he could feel all eyes on him. 

"Why not?" Peter asked him, confusion in his voice.

"It's already been paid. All your expenses, including the fee for keeping this room private, and that private nurse that comes around every hour. Your food also comes from an outside source now instead of the hospital food."

Happy had no idea what to say, he looked at May and then back to the doctor. "How? How can that be? None of us have given you anything? Did the funding get accepted?"

"Nope," The doctor looked up at them, holding a clipboard. "The bills were paid by a…" he flicked through the pages, trying to find the medical forms to read aloud. "Mr. Anthony Stark."

Peter's mouth gaped open, his heart filled with a sudden burst of love and happiness. He felt like crying oceans of happy tears. Tony did this for him? He paid all that money even though he knew he didn't have to?

May started to cry, tears streaming down her face as Happy grinned widely. "That son of a bitch, he didn't say anything. I can't believe he did this."

Peter held tightly to May's hand as he tried to wrap his head around this. Knowing that May was okay and being looked after was more than he could have asked for. All he wanted to do was jump into the man's arms and tell him how much he loved him.

But the rules. Last night was adorable and comforting, but he knew that's as far as it would go. Nothing more, because Peter respected Tony's wishes. And Peter could live off that for now. 

He kissed May's hand and walked out of the room, retrieving his phone from his pocket. He dialled Tony's number. 

"Hey Pete, everything okay?" There was running water in the background. It sounded like Tony had jumped out of the shower to answer his call.

Peter leaned against the wall, just hearing this voice made the younger man's day brighter. Pure happiness was written across his face. 

"Everything is great. Can I see you?" Peter was over eager, but he was going to turn up even if Tony said no.

Tony sounded like he walked away from the phone, but then the water stopped and he walked back. 

"I'm actually heading to bed for a few hours, I'm ready to pass out. Pepper has a family thing today which I refuse to go to, so if you want to come over you can."

"Already on my way Tony, I can't wait to see you. I'll be there soon!" Tony was sure the younger man had a massive grin plastered over his face, he could hear it in his voice. 

"I'll ask Friday to just let you in, I'll be in my room."

"Be there soon,"

\--

True to his word, not seven minutes later and Peter was skipping through the doors, making his way straight for Tony's bedroom. He didn't think about it to begin with, all Peter knew is that he wanted to see his mentor and tell him how much he appreciated everything he had done for him and Aunt May.

Peter paused outside the closed door, freezing to the spot. Focusing on what he was about to do. Tony's bedroom was something he had dreamed about entering, but it was never like this. Peter wanted to be carried in by those big strong arms that then lay him on the bed and ravished him. He spent so many hours fantasizing about being invited in. 

Peter had to get sex out of his head, this wasn't about sex. There were rules. But if the man would let him, he needed another cuddle and if he had to beg for it he would.

Hand on the door, Peter took a deep breath in and pushed it open. Stepping in, his heart pounding and eyes searching the room. It was a relatively large room, but he didn't take anything in. All he saw was the man in the bed.

There he was, the beautiful Tony Stark, lying topless in the master bed, cuddled up to a pillow, spread out on his front. This was a vision that he never wanted to forget. Peter took a mental picture, one that he would go back to as many times as his heart would let him.

"Fuck." Peter stood wide eyed, his eyes trailing over the older man. He looked like he had been sculpted by Odin himself. Tony was the most gorgeous man he had ever seen in his life.

_ Stop thinking about sex. It's not about sex. _

His pushed those dirty thoughts out of his head, and realised how much he needed a good night's sleep too. Best friends always shared a bed together and it was never weird. 

Peter dropped his coat on the floor, kicking off his shoes, he slowly laid down on the bed beside him. Peter sat and watched the older man sleep for a while, as Tony did for him last night. He made sure to keep a distance from the other man, respecting the rules.

Within ten minutes, he too, had fallen asleep. 

It was an hour or two before Peter opened his eyes again, and he immediately flicked over to watch Tony, who was still asleep. The younger man realised how close they were, facing each other in the bed, close enough to feel the warmth of the other man's body but not close enough to touch. 

Peter could breathe in his scent, letting it surround his senses. It was enough to make him feel high on love. Tony's face was truly something special. Yes he was older, and there were grey hairs through his beard and on his head, even the odd one in his eyebrows. Tony had crows feet, but was still the most magnificent person that Peter had ever seen.

After a while, it could have been a half hour or thirty seconds, Peter had no way of knowing, because he was lost in Tony's peaceful face, Tony moved.

His head lifted off the pillow and he squinted his eyes, noticing the younger man was there too. "Peter?" 

"Hey," Peter blushed. "Sorry, I needed a nap too." His voice came out as a nervous whisper, hoping that he wouldn't get in trouble. 

Tony noticed how Peter's hair was a dire mess, sticking out in every which way. He was a dream to open his eyes to. Tony smiled the most beautiful smile and lay his head back into the pillow, closing his eyes again.

"Come here then," he grumbled as he reached out his arm and grabbed Peter by the hip, pulling him close. 

Peter felt himself being pressed against Tony's hot body (in more ways than one) and melted in his arms. If he was feeling any tension at all, it had evaporated and instead he let himself relax as his arms met with Tony's tanned, muscled chest. Never in a million years had he thought that he would get this fantastic opportunity 

Peter felt his insides twist and turn, excited and in love, his mind was exploding and his heart couldn't keep a steady beat. Slowly he wrapped his arm around Tony, letting his hand smooth over Tony's naked back. It was warm and felt softer than his own skin.

His head found its way to the crook of Tony's neck and cuddle in. Tony's natural scent was the best fucking thing he had ever smelled. He just wanted to live in that moment forever and never smell anything else in his life. 

Peter had to keep his head in neutral. One wrong move and he was going to have to explain why his dick was pressing against the older man's body. He couldn't let himself get hard.

This was all strangely intimate and yet completely not. There was rules. The rules were not meant to be broken.

Tony was almost asleep again, he let his hands hold onto the small of Peter's back. He knew that having Peter this close was a bad idea, but they both needed it. It wasn't about sex, at least it shouldn't be. 

His lips gently touched the top of Peter's head, pressing a chaste kiss into his hair.

Peter smiled and blushed, acting on impulse and turning his head to ever so gently and sweetly press a tiny kiss on Tony's neck. 

"Mmm… don't do that Pete," Tony muttered, a smile on his face. 

"Why not?" Peter whispered, letting his lips linger on the older man's skin. His hot breath sending shivers down Tony's body.

Tony held onto him tightly, "There's rules, and if you carry on like that you'll force me to break them." He kept his eyes shut and nuzzled into the younger man. 

"Mmm," Peter smiled into his warm skin. "Mkay. I'll stop." His lips were hovering over Tony's skin. Peter softly snuggled into him.

"Peter?" Tony whispered, his fingers lightly tracing the skin under Peter's T-shirt. Peter's eyes fluttered open, his brain had stopped working. 

"Pete?' Tony whispered again.

"Mhm?" Was the only sound Peter was capable of making right now. 

"Stay with me. Don't go." 

Imagine a fireworks show, where every bang was the explosive burst of love from your heart. Every great feeling in the world, bursting into the air and lighting the world around you. 

That's how it felt to hear those words.

Peter decided one more kiss wouldn't hurt. He turned his head and pressed a long lingering kiss to Tony's jaw before settling down to rest again.

"That's the plan Tony."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. My Aphrodisiac Is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sort of short, the next one will come right after.
> 
> https://youtu.be/YFE8LO3EzRQ - song to go with it

_ 'Some people say _

_ That oysters make you come on strong _

_ But I don't buy it _

_ I don't believe my diet turns me on _

_ Won't take no pills, _

_ That's the last thing that I need to do _

_ I can't deny it, _

_ My aphrodisiac is you.' _

  
  


When Peter next awoke, he wasn't in the arms of Tony. The older man had obviously woken up and gone to the bathroom, because he could hear the shower running in the en suite. 

Peter took this moment to cuddle into the spot where Tony previously lay, feeling a little warmth still lingering. The pillow smelled like him, a scent which surrounded Peter's senses. Filling his lungs up with Tony, he felt himself feel completely at peace. This is what he always wanted, to be in Tony's bed, feeling him close.

He let his eyes shut, thinking about Tony lying there, in that exact spot, naked. He figured there would be many nights were his mentor would be lying here, naked, sweaty, jacking himself off. 

_ Oh how beautiful it would be to watch. _ Peter thought. If only Tony did porn… that would be amazing. But only if it were for his eyes only… 

Peter just wanted to watch Tony get off. He had dreamed about it for so long. The man's dick would be impressive, just like the rest of his body. He had seen bits and pieces of Tony's body before, glances as he worked out, his top being torn off after getting oil over it in the lab.

Peter wanted to kiss every part of Tony's body. Every single sensitive section needed Peter's attention, and all he wanted to do was lick, bite and kiss every centimetre of skin he could find.

What Peter wanted more than anything was to put his mouth around what he hoped would be an impressive cock. Peter would probably cum as soon he heard Tony moan. Fuck, he would reccord it, use it as his alarm, ringtone and text tone and set an alarm for every ten minutes for the rest of his life. 

It wasn't until the shower turned off that Peter realised he was lying in Tony's bed with a hard-on. His eyes widened as he sat himself up, pulling the duvet over him. 

He crossed his legs and waited for the door to open. Seconds later, amongst a cloud of steam, Tony entered the room again. Dripping wet, a towel around his waist and one in his hands to dry his hair. 

"Christ." Peter cursed under his breath. His eyes were glued to the older man's chest, heart beating fast, dick twitching under the covers. 

"Oh hey Pete, showers free." Tony flashed him a beautiful smile before walking towards the walk in closet to grab some clothes. 

Peter watched as Tony walked away, memorizing the way the muscles in his back flexed, and the curve of his fucking fantastic ass through the towel. Peter gulped down hard as his pulse rate quickened. A shower was definitely needed. 

"Pete? You grabbing a shower?"

Peter shook himself out of his trance, catching Tony's eyeline and clearing his throat. Trying not to give himself away too much.

"Uhhh… yeah." Peter licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah I am."

Tony looked at him with an amused expression, smiling. He rolled his eyes and went back into the closet.

-

_ Alrite, _

_ I could sniff some kind of rhino horn, _

_ And go to bed in rubber gloves, _

_ But I don't need no stimulation, _

_ Potions, balms or embrocation, _

_ I'm in love, - in other words: _

It was three minutes later when Tony walked back into the bedroom with his jeans on, pulling a top over his head. He grabbed a pair of shoes and perched on the edge of the bed to put them on. 

It was heading towards 5 pm, which meant that he had missed eating today. Tony sighed as he wiped his eyes and checked his phone to see if there were any messages when he heard it. 

_ "Ooooh," _

Tony froze. Was that what he thought that was? It couldn't be. That angelic beautiful voice sounded so different. It was fucking attractive.

Peter wouldn't do that… here… would he? Surely the younger man would know that Tony could hear him?

_ "Oooh fuck…" _

Tony didn't want to listen, except that of course he did. He shouldn't, he couldn't, but he absolutely did. Tony stood up and paused beside the bathroom door, leaning against the door frame to try to hear. 

_ "Tony… shit… Mr. Stark right there…" _

Every moan that escaped through the crack was like a private live fucking porn show. Stark's stomach was twisting, his cock wanting to stir to attention. He tried to will it away. Tony let his eyes shut for a second to think about Peter.

_ "Nnnhhh, ttt… tony please…" _

The sounds became needier as he heard Peter's breathing as it became more audible. Tony pushed the door open a little, peeking in to see Peter's shadow through the curtain. 

One hand was holding himself up against the wall, as the other was between himself, tugging at his dick. Tony noticed that Peter's dick was much bigger than he had expected, and he felt terrible for peeping in. 

The younger man was pumping his dick faster, head tilting back as the water poured over him. 

"Fuck… ffffff...fuck oh god, I'm gonna cum Tony, tooooony… uhhhh, SHIT!" Peter came into his hand, the other hand removed itself from the tiles and covered his mouth.

Tony removed himself from the area and tried to keep himself from going crazy. That was completely, and undoubtedly the hottest fucking thing he had ever seen. Peter was moaning his name, literally getting off just thinking about him. 

_ 'Don't smoke no grass _

_ Or opium from old Hong Kong _

_ That hubble bubble _

_ Just makes me see you double all night long _

_ Don't waste my time _

_ With Spanish fly and roots to chew, _

_ They cause my trouble _

_ Because my aphrodisiac is you' _

Tony had to leave the room and go splash his face with cold water from the guest bathroom. Fucking being married. If he didn't have a ring on his finger he would jump in that shower, clothes and ravish that man. 

That's one thing Tony needed to explore. Because male on male sex was never a thing in his mind before now, and currently he yearned for it. He needed Peter to leave now, so he could figure out what the fuck was going on. 

_ 'I could sniff some kind of rhino horn, _

_ And go to bed in rubber gloves, _

_ But I don't need no stimulation, _

_ Potions, balms or embrocation, _

_ I'm in love, - in other words:' _

-

When Peter met Tony in the kitchen, he was happy and fresh. He had stolen one of Tony's large Led Zeppelin T-shirts and he looked adorable. 

Tony turned to speak to him when he was met with the beautiful younger man, wearing a goofy smile and an adorable glint in his eye. 

"Hey," Peter smiled as he leaned over and picked up an apple from the kitchen island.

Tony could feel his cheeks burning. This was so not how his life was supposed to go. The kid was his best friend, was in love with him, and now making him desire. 

Mr. Stark's throat was dry, but he croaked out words anyway. 

"Hey Pete. You never did tell me why you came over." He opened the fridge door to get himself a bottle of water.

"I anted to thank you, and just tell you how much I appreciate you."

Tony arched an eyebrow and turned to him. "Thank you?" He sipped at his drink. "Any particular reason?"

Peter jumped off the stool he was leaning against and walked around to Tony, putting his arms around his neck. 

"Don't worry, I know the rules." Peter told him softly with a smile on his face. Tony's hands were by his side, he knew if he touched the younger man, the rules would be broken.

"Then what are you doing?"

Peter pulled him in for a tight embrace, holding him close. "Just thanking you." He whispered as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Tony against him.

"For what?"

"For what you did for May." Peter squeezed him and pulled away. "I'm disappointed you won't hug me back, but I get it. Just thank you so much for being my hero. Also you'll probably get a few hugs from Happy too."

Peter moved away and took another bite of his apple, leaning his back against the island. 

"You don't need to thank me," Tony muttered as he tried to shake off the feeling of wanting to grab the younger man and hold him against the wall, making him moan. 

"I do. I know you probably did it because it was the right thing to do, or because Happy is your best friend. But I like to think you did it for me."

Peter grinned as he had a dreamy look on his face. 

Tong smiled. He did do it for Peter. Although the thought of making Happy and May less stressed was a part of it, it really was for Peter.

_ 'Some people like _

_ To read the Khama Sutra first _

_ But I don't need it _

_ I think that if I should read ill be worse! _

_ Don't ask me why _

_ Cause baby I ain't got a clue. _

_ I just concede it _

_ My aphrodisiac is you' _

"You'd better go Peter." Tony said coldly. 

Peter cocked his head to the side. "Why Tony? Did I do something wrong?" He furrowed his eyebrows and looked kind of heart. 

Tony shook his head. "Not a single thing. But I need to sort some things out. If you stay here I'm not going to be able to think straight."

Peter beamed and nodded, biting his apple again and chewing down a mouthful. He disappeared into Tony's room to grab his bag, and then came back through. 

"I'll see you soon, give me a text at some point." He smiled warmly, as the older man stood there, completely uncomfortable. 

Tony nodded, "Yeah Pete, I'll text you. I mean it this time."

Peter was in deep thought for a moment, he knew he had to go, but he didn't feel like Tony understood how much he appreciated him.

He flicked his eyes down to his apple and then back to Tony, stepping forward and pressing a quick kiss on Tony's warm cheek. 

"I love you Tony." He smiled before skipping towards the elevator, leaving his love behind. 

"Goodbye Friday!"

"Goodbye Peter." The AI answered. 

  
  



	7. Two Men In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/BoL7uO55-g8 - song to go along with it

Tony called Pepper to see when she would be home for dinner, and turns out not for a while. 

Since he was alone, he needed to sit and think about everything in his head. He loved Pepper, but in a ridiculous turn of events he was incredibly sure and terribly scared that he has fallen in love with A MAN. 

This was beyond terrifying. Tony never thought he would have that feeling of falling in love again, and the love he felt was bigger than any other he experienced.

"Friday, help me out here." He spoke as he slumped down in his armchair. 

"What can I do for you Sir?"

"What do you think about Peter?"

"Mr. Peter Parker is a good person. He always treats me nicely. The rest of the Avengers love him and Happy wants to be like a father to him. During his time in the Avengers he has done a lot of good for the city."

Tony nodded. "Yeah. Yeah he has. Do you think our age difference is too big?" 

"26 years sir? No. There are many celebrity couples out there with bigger age differences."

Mr. Stark scratched his beard and leaned against the armrest, staring out the window as he continued to converse with his AI.

"Do you think him and I would make a good couple?"

"You are married to Pepper Sir, but in theory I think he would be better for you."

Tony felt a grin crawl onto his face, his cheeks blushing. He did really like the idea of being with Peter. Obviously he would have to do a lot of research, and understand sex and dynamics between male relationships. It was very new to him, and he had always known how to be with a woman. 

"Can people my age have a change of sexuality, Friday?"

"People can be any age and find out who they are Sir. There is no time limit on love."

Tony chuckled and bit down on his bottom lip, seriously weighing his options. The way Peter made him feel like he was a teenaged again was magical. Tony actually felt like he wanted to text him all day and meet up with him to kiss him for hours on end. 

It actually felt like his heart was glowing when he thought about Peter.

He wanted something new and exciting. Everything he had now was so sad and dull. Pepper and he were getting into routines and they were at the stage where they would fight a lot. Sex wasn't even frequent anymore. 

He had given the rose to Pepper to try and get her attention again. She only really seemed to have kids on the brain, and has completely side stepped how Tony feels. He didn't even feel like it was much to hold onto.

But of course Tony never told Peter this. He didn't want his marriage to be another failure in his life, so he had been trying so hard to make things right. 

Then when Peter kissed him, good fuck that blew his mind. Someone  _ wanted  _ him. Someone  _ loved  _ him. Someone was going CRAZY just thinking about him all the time. And this someone dubbed him as a hero. A god. 

Peter was a handsome man. A funny, intriguing, intelligent, caring, kind, sweet, adorable, loving man who didn't care about Tony's bad points.

"Friday, play some music would you?"

"Of course Sir." Friday responded and played the radio.

_ "If I asked you now _

_ Will you be my prince _

_ Will you lay down your armour _

_ And be with me forever _

_ When you open me _

_ All the power in me moves _

_ How you want to see _

_ All the depths of me real' _

Peter had been very open with Tony since the kiss. That night he remembered how Peter confessed this love had been going on for so long. He was in pain, and when they were together, all Tony saw in his eyes was love and respect. 

And fuck the respect the younger man had for him. Peter did his best to keep to all the rules, he sat and listened to Tony talk about his marriage. He was there for him if he needed to talk and was always happy to hear from him.

_ "When you open me _

_ All the power in me moves _

_ I feel real _

_ How I love you _

_ When I look into your eyes _

_ There's a danger inside" _

Peter curled up beside him in bed earlier. Tony literally didn't even care if Pepper had walked in, because they weren't doing anything to he ashamed of, even though it was in both their minds. 

"Friday? How long does Pepper have left before she can't have kids?"

"It's hard to say Sir, I'm an AI not a doctor. Given her age, I would say she has three to five years at best."

Tony sighed and continued to listen to the song.

_ 'When I see the edge _

_ I can never hide _

_ See my running, running, to you from you to you _

_ There's a strange love inside _

_ It's getting louder _

_ And louder and louder and louder and louder _

_ There's a danger I can't hide' _

Pepper should be with someone who wants to have a kid with her and who hasn't been thinking about another man. Peter on the other hand, he was at a totally different stage in life, but that didn't scare him off as much as it should have. 

Tony took out his phone and pulled up a picture of Peter. His heart actually fluttering. 

_ "Who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love!" _

The picture of Peter's smile tugged at his heart strings. Tony was thinking about what it would be like to kiss the man, nuzzling into him. It excited him. 

Tony's heart was actually palpated more than ever before. It was insane how much love surged through his body right now, realising that yes, he was falling head over heels in love with Peter fucking Parker.

_ "Gonna build you up, gonna help you believe sonny _

_ Gonna build you up, gonna help you be free honey" _

A relationship with Peter could be so charming. They could just be happy and be themselves. He wouldn't be pressured into having kids, and Peter would respect his decisions and feelings. Of course Peter would he free to do whatever the fuck he wanted but would always come home to him.

He wouldn't be tied to an anchor going into the ocean. Peter breathed new life into him, and now he couldn't forget the moment Peter told him he was a better kisser when he was sober. 

Peter was always right, but Tony needed to find out for himself.

_ 'There's a strange love inside _

_ It's getting louder _

_ And louder and louder and louder and louder _

_ There's a danger I can't hide _

_ Who I am _

_ It's who I am, it's who I am _

_ I'm in love!' _

Tony had the money, the fame, the job security, the suit, the respect and the looks. Now he has this cute man who didn't see him the way the world did. He knew Peter would love him if he was poor, if he wasn't Iron Man, if the world didn't know who he was. 

They could support each other and lift each other up. Something new. Something scary. Something different. But this was something he wanted to pursue. 

"Fuck Friday, I think I like Peter."

"Duh." Friday replied. 

_ 'I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ I'm in love! _

_ We're just two men in love' _

Tony scoffed at Friday. Clicking on Google on his phone, he looked up some information on gay relationships, he really felt like he needed to prepare himself for what was to come. 

"I'm gonna have to break up with Pepper." Tony muttered to himself. He couldn't be bothered with divorce lawyers and debating whose getting what. 

But in the end, if the world would let him. He would wake up to Peter's face very soon.


	8. Who Knew?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bitch you thought 
> 
> https://youtu.be/NJWIbIe0N90

It had been two days since Tony thought he had decided to break it off with Pepper. He hadn't done it yet though, maybe it was because he was scared. What if this feeling was just a fleeting crush? What if wakes up next to Peter and hoping it was Pepper and can't turn back time. Well, technically with the help of the Avengers he probably could, but it was just a lot of hassle you know?

He was having a major freakout. 

**TS - ** _ 'Hey Peter, need a few days to sort things out. Don't come to the lab for a while. Don't worry, I'm not going to ghost you.' _

That was the last text he had sent his protege, and he got no reply from him. Either Peter understood and wasn't texting him back out of respect for his space, or spending all his time at the hospital with May,  _ or _ he was pissed and upset.

Tony really hoped it wasn't the latter. But he did periodically check his phone for some sort of message from him. He came back from the lab to find Pepper watching TV curled up on the couch. 

That woman did so much for him. She healed his broken life and made him stronger, and although things were a rough patch, he knew he couldn't see a life without her in it. Everything was so hard because when he thought about Peter it was like his soul was lifting out of his body and flying through the sky, but Pepper kept him grounded. 

All of this was so mean to both of them. It's not like he meant it to be this way, he didn't mean to catch feelings for another person. 

Tony hadn't cheated. Well, there was that  _ one  _ drunken kiss, but that was it. He kept his distance and stayed faithful. But Peter's heart was being hurt in the process. Tony hated himself for this, because whatever he chose was final. And someone's heart was going to be broken. 

He loved them both. And hearing either of then cry would break his soul.

All Tony had to blame was himself and his stupid fucking heart. He hated that blasted thing. Feelings are awful. Caring is not an advantage and all that shit. And now the billionaire was in turmoil over the biggest decision he had to make. 

Pepper or Peter?

Tony couldn't think about it more today. He chucked his coat on a chair and slumped down on the sofa beside Pepper, his arm along the back of it. Pepper instinctively cuddled into him and they silently watched TV together. 

He flicked up his phone and scrolled through social media. The last tweet from Peter read;

_ 'Hopefully things will look up from here #aspiderhopes' _

As the movie played through, Tony didn't have it in him to focus on it. Instead his head was elsewhere. Things had to get better from now.

-

A week and four days later and things hadn't changed. He didn't  _ want _ to be gay. Not that there was anything wrong with it, but it wasn't him. He didn't even feel bisexual. He was Petersexual. Tony felt like if he was into men, it would change who he was and he sort of liked who he was right now. 

Tony didn't want to take a wrong turn, a false move. His happiness depended on it, and so did those of whom he loved.

Of course this meant that he and Peter hadn't spoken at all. Which of course was killing them both. Peter probably sat around the phone waiting on his text. Just not having his best friend around was killing him.

Tony missed hearing his laugh, seeing his sweet smile every time they caught eyes. 

What would his parents say if they were alive? Tony felt like he was grasping at straws here, but he was panicking like hell. 

The downfall? If he stayed with Pepper he would HAVE to have kids right now. If he went to Peter, and it turns out he didn't like sex with a man, Peter would probably leave him for someone who does want him that way.

It wouldn't be fair to have a child with someone when you aren't sure you want them or the child. And fuck he kept thinking about Peter's perfect lips. That kiss was fucking electric. He craved it. Tony hadn't stopped thinking about it since it happened. He yearned to kiss the man sober. 

Pepper and Tony were going out to dinner that night, they had booked a table at their favourite restaurant. Tony obviously looked handsome as hell, and Pepper turned up looking like some kind of goddess. She always did mind you. 

The dinner was normal to begin with, it felt almost like old times. They fell back into their old dynamic, flirting, being cute together, talking both business and pleasure with ease. That was until Pepper brought up the lack of his right arm.

"I haven't seen Peter in a while. Did you two have a fight?"

Tony didn't know what to say, but luckily he was quick on his feet. He took a sip of his wine and smiled, trying not to give away how he felt. 

"No, not at all! I've just kept a distance while May gets better. I don't want to intrude on family time."

Pepper nodded. "You're a good man Tony. You two are very close, aren't you?"

Tony took a bite of his food and nodded. "Uh, yeah. He's really become like a best friend to me."

"I'm not surprised, when you were… well, for lack of a better word, dead. We didn't think he would cope."

Tony raised an eyebrow and continued to eat slowly with a quizzical look on his face. "Explain?"

Pepper smiled and continued to eat and talk at the same time. "He was a mess, he put off school for a while. Stayed in his room, his suit wasn't used. May said he wouldn't eat for a long time. His bedroom was like a shrine to you apparently."

Tony stopped eating and instead continued to listen to his wife. "Go on."

"Well," she tried to remember. "He didn't talk to us for a while, no wait he came over once to collect some of your stuff that I set aside for him. I think he still has them, he had a therapist for a while too. Honestly thought he wasn't going to make it through,"

Tony could not believe what he was hearing. Peter literally stopped living when Tony did, and that made his heart ache. Peter must really be in pain right now. 

"So uh, what happened when I came back? He didn't tell me any of this." Tony cleared his throat and tried to sound level headed and non affected by this news. 

"When we told him he cried for like an hour, and then you saw him and suddenly everything was alright again. More than." Pepper informed him, trying to read his face. 

Tony nodded and continued to sip at his wine.

"But let's talk about us," Pepper smiled sweetly. She didn't know but they already were. 

He put down his glass and flashed her a smile. "What about us darling?"

She placed her hand on his and leaned forward, like she was about to proposition him.

"I feel like we've had a bit of a rough patch. And I'm not happy about it, so let's just forget about having kids right now. Let's work on us."

His eyes widened as he grinned at her. That was what he really wanted to hear from her, and had been for ages. Finally she was understanding that to him, she was all he needed instead of having a kid. 

In the back of his mind he thought… what about Peter? What the hell was he going to do with these Peter tingles in his heart?

He had to be mean to himself. Here he was at dinner with his beautiful wife, who wanted to make things work with him. He owed it to his vows and the ring on his finger to at least try. 

Tony smiled at her warmly. "Let's go away together for a while, hm? A week wherever you want to go."

Pepper beamed and her eyes lit up. "Really? We are gonna make things work again?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah Pep, we are."

-

_ 'You took my hand _

_ You showed me how _

_ You promised me you'd be around _

_ Uh huh _

_ That's right _

_ I took your words _

_ And I believed _

_ In everything _

_ You said to me _

_ Yeah huh _

_ That's right' _

  
  


This was gonna be a hard text to Peter. He should call him, but he wasn't sure he could handle it. Tony left Pepper in bed and said he had to turn off the machines in the lab. Of course he could have asked Friday to do it, but he needed the space. The call had to be made.

It was 11.46 pm and he knew Peter would answer, he always does when it's him. His heart was already pulling itself to pieces. 

"Hey," the younger man answered. 

"Hey Pete." Tony clenched his eyes shut and fell into his chair. That voice was like music to him. It had healing powers, but tonight, it felt like a knife. 

"I missed you." Peter whispered, it was night time so he was trying to keep quiet. 

"I… I missed you too."

"You sound sad?" Peter questioned. "Is there anything I can do?"

Tony's hand grasped around the arm of his chair, his knuckles going white. He gulped and tried to breathe as best he could.

"Just listen to me kid."

"Kid? Oh boy. I'm listening." Peter's voice suddenly became saddened, like he knew exactly what was about to happen. 

_ 'If someone said three years from now _

_ You'd be long gone _

_ I'd stand up and punch them out _

_ 'Cause they're all wrong _

_ I know better _

_ 'Cause you said forever _

_ And ever _

_ Who knew' _

  
  


"Don't talk kid, because this is really hard for me to say."

There was silence on the other end, Peter holding his breath so he caught every word.

"Pepper and I have decided to make it work."

He could hear Peter trying to muffle a sob, trying not to be heard by the older man.

"So me and her are flying off to Spain for a while to try and reconnect. She has put the baby stuff aside, and wants it to just be us for now. She's my wife Peter… I have to try. But it… it doesn't mean I don't care about you."

Peter was sobbing louder now, probably using his arm or a pillow to cry into. Tony could hear his uneven breaths and his sad cries. 

"Please understand Pete… but you and I need to have some time apart… so I can focus on my marriage."

Peter's voice cracked as he tried to say something in reply, but it just ended up in a cry. 

Tony felt a lump in his throat, fuck he was going to cry too. Tears slipped out of his hazel eyes and dripped down his cheek, this was the hardest thing he has had to do for such a long time.

_ 'Remember when we were such fools _

_ And so convinced and just too cool Oh no, No no _

_ I wish I could touch you again _

_ I wish I could still call you friend _

_ I'd give anything _

_ When someone said count your blessings now _

_ For they're long gone _

_ I guess I just didn't know how _

_ I was all wrong _

_ They knew better _

_ Still you said forever _

_ And ever _

_ Who knew' _

  
  


"Peter I…" his voice broke as he leaned forward and out his head in his hands. "I don't want things to be this way either."

Peter shivered as he cried, keeping the phone next to him. 

"Pete? Peter I'm sorry."

"Liar." Peter whispered. "All you've done is lie to me. You made me think you could want me." 

Dagger. Like a fucking dagger right in Tony's heart, in his stomach. Every part of his body was being beaten up. None of this was a lie, but he understood how Peter was feeling.

"You made me think I was special to you Mr. Stark. Maybe it is a good idea we part."

_ 'I'll keep you locked in my head _

_ Until we meet again _

_ Until we _

_ Until we meet again _

_ And I won't forget you my friend _

_ What happened _

_ If someone said three years from now _

_ You'd be long gone _

_ I'd stand up and punch them out _

_ 'Cause they're all wrong and' _

Tony cried loudly into the phone, knowing full well that Peter was listening to him. He never cried in front of anyone but now he didn't care. His chest was tightening up. 

"Not forever Peter… I can't handle forever whi… without you."

"I hate myself because fuck Tony I know I should leave forever, but…" he sobbed into the phone, sniffleing. "I love you so fucking much you asshole."

"I deserved that." Tony swallowed, his voice barely higher than a whisper. 

"You do." Peter was still crying but tried his best to speak coldly. "I can't stay away from you Tony, but I think you're a total prick for leading me on."

Peter hung up the phone, leaving Tony huddled over on the lab, sobbing his heart out.

_ 'That last kiss _

_ I'll cherish _

_ Until we meet again _

_ And time makes _

_ It harder _

_ I wish I could remember _

_ But I keep _

_ Your memory _

_ You visit me in my sleep _

_ My darling _

_ Who knew _

_ My darling _

_ My darling _

_ Who knew _

_ My darling _

_ I miss you _

_ My darling _

_ Who knew _

_ Who knew' _


	9. Lips of an Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short sad chapter, don't lose hope. It'll get better. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/RiSfTyrvJlg

(( the song lyrics used are written into the dialogue ))

Tony had been away to spain for six days now. were supposed to only be away for a week, but now they were going to be there for longer. 

He would be lying if he said he didn't think about Peter at all this past week. Tony's mind was reminded of Peter when he was Peter's favourite foods on the menu. Kids were running about pretending to fight, trying to shoot webs from their wrists.

Pepper noticed every time. She watched Tony as he swallowed hard when someone mentioned the name Peter. She felt horrible for him, how they must be missing each other, not knowing why they've stopped talking.

Pepper and he had done all the tourist attractions and visited different restaurants every night. He bought her jewellery and dresses, which she loved, and every night ended the same. They were cuddled up together in a large bed, whispering to each other about their thoughts. But Tony's head wasn't always in it. 

Tony checked his phone at least five times a day to see if there was a text or phone call, something there that would let him know that Peter was okay. He felt horrible.

Tony and Pepper had sex four times this week, and each time Tony made sure they used protection. Luckily Pepper didn't ask to go without one! 

This particular night, Tony couldn't sleep. Pepper was fast asleep beside him, snoring softly. He made his way quietly out of the bed and to the balcony. He closed the door over and leaned against the railing, watching the night stars and the water on the beach before him.

He loved Pepper so much. She meant so much to him, but she was tied now with Peter. 

As if by design,  _ by the writer _ , his phone vibrated in his hand. Tony looked at the caller ID. 

_ Peter. _

"Honey, why are you calling me so late?

It's kinda hard to talk right now." Tony told him in hushed tones. He shouldn't have said honey, but he felt it necessary.

Peter was softly sobbing from just hearing his voice. 

"Why are you crying, is everything okay?

I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud." Tony looked back at Pepper asleep on the bed and then turned back to look at the night sky.

"Tony…" Peter whispered back. "Have you forgotten about me?"

"Never Peter." Tony let his eyes fall closed, breathing steadily. "I've thought about you every minute."

"You have?" Peter's broken and hopeful voice spoke up.

"I have." Tony confirmed. "Do you still think I'm a prick?"

Peter giggled, "Uh yeah. Just a bit. I'm sorry I was so mean."

"Don't say sorry. Say my name Peter.",

Peter smiled as he whispered into the phone, slowing his speech so every word was said with the inner love in his soul. "Tony… tony... tony…  _ tony… toooony. _ "

"Oh Pete. Pepper's in the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you… I guess we never really moved on. It's really good to hear your voice saying my name it sounds so sweet… Coming from the lips of an angel hearing those words - it makes me weak and I never wanna say goodbye but, Pete you make it hard to be faithful… With the lips of an angel."

It was hard to tell what Peter was feeling. Tony knew that there would he a level of sadness and love mixed in. Peter seemed to cry a lot. Before all of this happened, Tony never saw him cry. Even when Peter talked about Uncle Ben… nothing. Until now.

"You really think I have the lips of an angel Mr. Stark?"

"You know you do." Tony smiled softly. "And you make me so weak."

"That's all I ever needed to hear." Peter gushed as he calmed down his crying, suddenly a warmth in his voice.

"You know, It's funny that you're calling me tonight." Tony whispered.

"It is?" Peter asked him. "I was dreaming about you. That's why I called. I missed you."

"I've dreamt of you too." 

"You have?" Peter questioned. "That makes me feel less miserable... How have things been? You reconnected yet?"

Tony sighed and opened his eyes, playing with the flowers poking out from the bushes next to the edge of the balcony. 

"I guess so yeah." Was his answer, spoken dryly. 

"You don't seem okay Tony. Forget about my feelings. Forget about everything, just talk to me."

He really wanted to, but he had no idea what to say to Peter. All he knew was that listening to him speak made him feel comforted again.

"Things are actually going great Peter. She hasn't mentioned kids at all, and we are heading back to normal."

Peter grunted. "That's good. I'm glad you're getting what you want."

" _ Don't. _ " Tony's voice wavered. "Don't be like that."

"What do you expect me to say Tony? I  _ am _ happy for you. I want nothing more than you to be happy. If you're happy then my misery isn't for nothing."

Tony gulped and shut his eyes again, leaning down to rest his forehead against his hands as his arms rested against the balcony.

"I didn't expect this to be so hard. I don't want you to be miserable." He breathed. It was his fault that Peter was miserable, sitting alone in his bed ripping his own heart to pieces. How the fuck could someone love him that much???

"I don't get what you see in me? I'm just a mess Peter. I break everything I touch." His voice broke. "I hurt everyone."

Tony listened into the phone as he could hear every breath and noise Peter made. He could hear the younger man lick his lips. 

"Do you honestly not know?" His voice was barely even a whisper, but Tony could feel it through his body. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"You are everything good in this world Tony. You're broken but beautiful. It's like when you're around I feel safe and okay. The hardest fucking part of my life was losing you, and when you came back I felt like I had to be near you. You make me better… you make me happy and I physically feel like a better person just for knowing you…"

Tony had a lump stuck in his throat, the love radiating from over the ocean was immense. 

"But I hurt you." Tony spoke bluntly. "Don't you hate me?"

"I'd rather be hurt by you than anyone else in the world. Fuck Tony I need to kiss you again, I shouldn't have called… I miss you so fucking much I just want to feel something other than this emotional pain."

"Don't hurt yourself Pete." Tony croaked. 

"I'm not. But it gets real hard not to. I have to move on from you Tony… I can't fucking do this anymore."

Tony's head was still sitting in his hands. His body focused mainly on breathing, which right now seemed almost impossible. 

"What does that mean for us?" Tony asked him. 

"It means I'm done Tony. It means I've officially broken myself too much over you. I'll always love you, but your stuff is going in a box and I'm going to try to move on."

Tony clenched his eyes shut, it felt like his heart was attacking himself. Of course Peter had the right to move on and be happy. What? Did he expect the man to just wait around for years just to see if he changed his mind?

Peter deserved the world, even if he wasn't the one to give it to him.

"Are we still best friends?"

"Mhm." Peter sighed as he cried softly. "If you want to be."

"You promised you'd never leave me. Don't leave me okay?"

Peter ended the phone call after his next statement. 

"I'll always be yours Tony. I love you."

Tony turned off his phone and continued to watch the horizon. Sighing softly to himself.

_ And I never want to say goodbye, but Pete you make it hard to be faithful. With the lips of an angel.  _

Tony took himself back inside and curled up beside his wife, trying not to miss the feel of Peter curled up beside him and pretending he didn't miss the younger man's scent.


	10. Not Over You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/vDWhfsQHq1o

Pepper noticed that Tony wasn't himself. Things were getting back to normal, but a new normal than before. In fact, she felt partly like she was to blame. All she wanted was to have a family with the man she loved, but she didn't want everything to start this way.

Pepper wanted kids now. She didn't have long left and although her life was all about adventure and being badass, she always wanted to be a mother. She thought when she found someone to spend the rest of her life with, that they would understand that.

But Pepper didn't want to be the wife who nagged and forced someone to do what she wanted. She loved Tony and she did respect him, but it meant pushing her dreams to the side. And that hurt.

They had been home from the beautiful Spain for two weeks now and life had just sort of moved on. Tony was doing his own thing, but alone. Peter was never in tow anymore, and he seemed really lonely, like he needed more than just her around, as any normal person would need. 

Although Pepper knew that they were happy together, she also knew her husband needed a best friend. Someone who he could spend time with and just be guys. 

That's when she decided she was going to do something about this rift between them. Pepper thought a lot of Peter, and her husband was important to her, two people she loved were hurting. And that's not okay.

She waited until Tony was down in the lab when she called Peter. 

"Hello?"

"Hey Peter, is that you?" Pepper's happy voice asked him. 

"Uh yeah. Is everything okay?" Confusion in his voice.

"Of course! Are you busy?" 

"I'm just looking after May for a bit. She's still healing but she's home. I'm on lunch duty."

Pepper was the sweetest person, always having a happy atmosphere around her. She wanted to believe the best in everyone. She saw a kindness in Peter that was shared with her husband, both of them caring so much about other people. 

"Can we talk for five minutes?"

"Uh sure." Peter seemed slightly panicky. You would be too if the man who you kissed's wife called you up asking you to speak to her.

"How are you?" She started out slow. 

"I'm okay," he shrugged. "Not much to say really. Started boxing at the gym, doing tutoring on the side of the restaurant. Not much really. How are you?"

"That sounds excellent Peter! I'm so happy for you! I'm good, but I'm worried."

"Worried?" Peter asked her. "Are you okay?"

"It's about Tony. He's miserable. He won't tell me about it but I can tell. He misses you. I have to ask, what happened?"

"Uuuhhh Pepper I don't think -" 

She cut him off. "Please?" Pepper sounded desperate to know. "He's my husband and I'm worried."

Peter was obviously not going to lie. He couldn't, and although it probably meant she wouldn't let him near Tony again, it was probably for the best. 

"Okay." He spoke as he walked into his bedroom and locked the door. "Okay I'll tell you."

Peter fell back on the bed and began to explain. "So I'm in love with him. And I told him. And he doesn't want me. So now we're not talking."

"Oh." Pepper replied, finally understanding everything. 

Just when Peter was sure that Pepper was going to bite his head off or hang up the phone, she surprised him.

"Are you okay Peter?" She asked him with a warm and friendly voice. 

He was thrown. "Not really." He replied honestly. "Not one bit."

"I can understand how you must be feeling." She told him. "It's horrible to feel like that. Listen I have a charity thing to go to tonight, why don't you get dressed up and come with me?"

"I don't know Pepper, I'm not feeling very sociable."

"You're coming! I'll be at yours at 6.45 to pick you up. Okay?" She told him.

"Okay." 

After the phone call, Peter was terrified. He obviously felt beyond awful about all of this. He was in love with a married man, in which the wife of said man wanted to talk to him about it. 

The thing is is that Peter was so upset and downhearted about this whole thing that he needed someone to talk to, he needed someone who understood the pain he had in his heart. 

He was definitely NOT going to tell Pepper about the kiss. No way was he ruining anything for Tony. Tony would never forgive him if he did, and Peter just wanted to move on from all of this. 

May helped him get ready, finding him a suit to wear. He looked rather dashing as he always did, but he couldn't find a smile to match. In all honesty, Peter's heart just felt like it was drowning and there wasn't a way out. Fuck Tony. 

Before he met Pepper at the car, he closed himself in his room and slowly picked everything Iron Man related and Tony related into boxes and put them under his bed. He didn't want to look at them anymore. 

Although he couldn't part with the clothes he had taken of Tony's. He needed them. Every single night he curled up in the older man's shirt and it comforted him.

_ 'Dreams _

_ That's where I have to go _

_ To see your beautiful face anymore _

_ I stare at a picture of you _

_ And listen to the radio' _

Every night it was just thinking about everything, from the moment he knew Tony existed until now. He remembered being a young kid and looking at the pictures of this gorgeous older man who he looked up to. 

It wasn't until Peter reached 12 or 13 where he started seeing Tony in a sexual light, and fuck he nearly died when they met. He was sure that the older man could read his thoughts, but he didn't care. He craved Tony.

_ 'Hope _

_ Hope there's a conversation _

_ Where we both admit we had it good _

_ But until then _

_ It's alienation I know _

_ That much is understood' _

Even when Tony was ghosting him, angry at him, talking down to him, all that was in Peter's head was to apologise by snogging him so hard he wouldn't remember why he was angry in the first place. Of course, he never did that, because of the age issue. 

When Tony died, holy fuck that hurt so much he nearly fucking died himself. In fact he wanted to die. The second he found out Tony was back his heart nearly fell out his ass and he was sure he was dreaming. Seeing those eyes again, oh fuck that moment meant everything to him.

_ 'And I realize _

_ If you ask me how I'm doin' _

_ I would say I'm doin' just fine _

_ I would lie and say that you're not on my mind' _

Peter knew this was pointless to hold onto forever. Tony was never going to choose him, and he had to find happiness for himself. 

_ 'But I go out _

_ And I sit down _

_ At a table set for two _

_ And finally I'm forced to face the truth _

_ No matter what I say _

_ I'm, not over you' _

-

Pepper was outside right on time and was really happy to see him. Peter was anxious and Pepper read that straight away.

"You don't have to feel uncomfortable," she informed him. "I'm not going to yell at you."

Peter sat quietly in the passenger seat, fiddling with the bottom of his suit jacket. 

"I mean it Peter. I'm not upset or anything."

Peter cocked his head and scrunched up his face. "You're not?"

"No!" She exclaimed as they pulled into the venue parking lot. "Not one bit. Tony doesn't even realise the effect he has on people. Most people have a crush on him."

Peter sighed. It wasn't a crush. It was  _ never _ a crush. He was head on, over the top, killing his soul, jump off a cliff in love with that stupid billionaire tin man. 

The car stopped and she turned to him. "Come on, let's enjoy the night."

-

_ 'Damn _

_ Damn girl you do it well _

_ And I thought you were innocent _

_ Took this heart and put it through hell _

_ And still you're magnificent _

_ I, I'm a boomerang _

_ Doesn't matter how you throw me' _

-

Inside the venue it was quite classy. There were high profile people everywhere they looked, and tables done up classy like. The food was wonderful things that Peter had never tasted before, and when the charity auction went underway Peter did actually have a good time. 

He marvelled in the way that people were spending ridiculous amounts of money on things they didn't need, like a night with the cast of Whose Line Is It Anyway or a signed costume from Bette Midler. Two people auctioned off a boat for £38,670. 

Peter couldn't believe how insane this was, and it wasn't until things died down and the free drinks were running dry until Pepper brought up the reason they were there. 

She brought them over a couple of drinks and two plates with a selection of cakes and treats. Sitting down beside him, she turned in her seat to face him. 

"So." She shot him a sympathetic smile. "You're in love with Tony."

Peter nearly jumped out of his chair and ran. His face started to turn red as he kept his eyes on the plate before him. "Sorry."

"No don't be sorry you silly sausage. You're allowed to have feelings, it's normal. What did he say when you told him?"

Peter blinked and sighed, deflating into his chair. "He said he loves you and he wanted to do everything he could to make his marriage work."

Pepper nodded, "I'm sorry. That must have been hard to hear."

He nodded and swallowed, trying not to start crying. Peter and alcohol were NOT a good mix.

"It was." His voice was quiet. "It was really hard."

_ 'Turn around _

_ And I'm back in the game _

_ Even better than the old me _

_ But I'm not even close without you _

_ If you ask me how I'm doin' _

_ I would say I'm doin' just fine _

_ I would lie and say that you're not on my mind' _

Tony's face was in his head, smiling at him with that shine in his eye. Fuck this hurt so much.

"What are you going to do?" Pepper asked him, bringing him out of his Tony trance. 

"I need to move on. Find someone, someone who loves me."

"Yeah that's a good idea. You're still young kiddo, there's tons of guys who would be lucky to have you."

"Huh okay then." Peter didn't believe her.

Pepper took a bite of a chocolate brownie before answering. "I take it you're into older men then?"

Peter's face reddened again. "Uh. Yeah."

"If you want, I can set you up with someone?"

_ 'But I go out _

_ And I sit down _

_ At a table set for two _

_ And finally I'm forced to face the truth _

_ No matter what I say _

_ I'm, not over you' _

"That could be a good idea." Peter cleared his throat. "I could start dating someone who might like me as much as I like him. Do you know any men worth my time?"

Pepper giggled and got her phone out of her pocket. "Oh yeah." She smiled, "Handsome, rich, bisexual and tall?" Pepper raised an eyebrow as she flicked through her contacts list. 

"That sounds great. Do you think they'll want to be set up with a young guy?"

"Are you kidding? That's all they want! Don't worry kid, I got you."

Peter knew in the back of his mind that this was the right thing to do. Tony wasn't an option, and maybe one of Pepper's fancy men was going to be good enough to fix his broken heart.

_ 'And if I had the chance _

_ To renew _

_ You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do _

_ I could get back on the right track _

_ But only if you'd be convinced _

_ So until then _

_ If you ask me how I'm doin' _

_ I would say I'm doin' just fine _

_ I would lie and say that you're not on my mind' _

Peter wondered if Tony would be happy for him, or if he would hate him for moving on so quickly. Everything about this situation was difficult.

Pepper brought her phone to her ear as it rang.

"Hey, Richard? You still single?"

_ 'But I go out _

_ And I sit down _

_ At a table set for two _

_ And finally I'm forced to face the truth _

_ No matter what I say _

_ I'm, not over you _

_ Not over you _

_ Not over you _

_ Not over you' _


	11. That's the Way I Loved You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/X31Z2N513L0

One month has passed since the charity event with Peter and Pepper. Tony hadn't known about it, and didn't ask who Pepper brought. He didn't want to go anyway!

The last four weeks had been so different for both of them. Tony and Pepper had been doing coupley things, and Pepper was sure her husband was back to normal. 

Tony had convinced himself that this was what he wanted. He spent his days forcing Peter out of his head. He never really spoke to Peter anymore, both of them sort of living their own lives. Tony spent a lot more time tinkering in his lab, and fortunately there was a bad guy to catch in the middle of all of this. 

He felt blessed that they didn't need Peter for this one, seeing him would just stop him from being able to work. The mission wasn't that long, and he and Bruce had it done and dusted in no time. 

Tony told himself he didn't miss Peter at all. If anyone asked about him he would just shrug and make a vague gesture. One thing he kept to himself however, and would never tell anyone about, is that he kept a picture of the younger man in his wallet. 

Every so often, when he was alone, he would get it out and stare at it for a while, thinking about how much he missed that cute little smile.

🌸

Peter on the other hand, was spending all his time dating this new man Pepper had set him up with. They had been on at least three dates a week, and Richard seemed to really like him. He was around Tony's age, maybe a year or two younger, but his hair was a little greyer. He was ever so slightly taller than Tony too, and looked damned good in a suit.

When he looked at Peter anyone could tell how much he enjoyed his company. Peter was the sweet little treat on his arm, and he flaunted him in front of all of his fancy high class friends.

Richard was a business man… wait for it… who worked with Tony in Stark Industries. Richard owned a company which supplied Tony with material and funding. Which meant of course, that Tony was going to completely freak out.

Peter loved the idea of Tony finding out and not knowing how to react and couldn't wait to see his reaction. 

Richard seemed to have it all, and he was falling hard for Peter. The younger man was showered with gifts and surprise outings, every morning cute texts and night time, slightly naughty ones. Peter was living the high life, eating out at the fanciest restaurants and wearing expensive clothes. 

He was perfect for Peter. May and Happy loved him, even though it took them a while to be okay with the age difference but Richard won them over with his charm. 

🌸

It was another big Avengers get together, meaning that everyone was heading around to the penthouse for a laugh, a drink and a feast. 

To begin with, Peter freaked out about going. Richard was the one who convinced him to go, standing behind him as he looked in the full length mirror, fixing his hair. He slid his arms around Peter's hips and smiled. 

"You look good." He confirmed. "Stop worrying."

Peter shivered at the touch. Not out of arousal or love, but out of the fear of being touched by someone that wasn't Tony. It was weird. 

They turned up a half hour late, because Richard wanted to take him out for last minute gift shopping. Peter was walking in with a new rolex and a bottle of fancy champagne to add to the party. 

_ 'He is sensible and so incredible _

_ And all my single friends are jealous _

_ He says everything I need to hear and it's like _

_ I couldn't ask for anything better _

_ He opens up my door and I get into his car _

_ And he says, you look beautiful tonight _

_ And I feel perfectly fine' _

Everyone was already there, walking about and getting stuck into their conversations and drinks. Waiters were walking about with serving trays of food and there was soft music playing in the background. 

Tony hadn't even thought about today, he was on autopilot. Pepper asked him to go and bring in another bottle of wine from the fridge just before Peter and Richard walked into the room.

"I'm gonna go to the toilet, back in a sec." Peter smiled as he walked through the crowd. Richard let go of his waist and headed to Pepper to speak to her. 

Moments later Tony emerged from the kitchen with two bottles in his hand, stopping at his wife. 

"Which one do you want?" His eyes flicked over to Richard. "Oh hey, what are you doing here?" He smiled, handing a bottle to Pepper so he had a hand to shake with. 

"I'm here with my boyfriend." Richard smiled, "He's at the bathroom right now. How have you been?"

"Yeah, yeah good." Tony kept the smile on his face. "Been a while, how's business?"

"It's going great as usual, ever building upwards. Not heard much from you in a while!"

Tony pulled Pepper closer beside him and kissed her cheek. "I've been a bit busy spending my time with this lady here." 

Richard's eyebrows raised as he nodded. "Fair enough," he smiled as he noticed Peter coming back into the room. 

"And there's my beautiful man now, come say hi!" He held out his arm for Peter to wrap himself up in. Peter came to stand beside them and looked at Richard and then to Pepper.

The moment Tony saw Peter, his entire fucking world crashed around him. Fuck. His arms dropped from around Pepper, his face completely in shock. Words were no longer coming to his mind and he just wanted to break down and sob his heart out. 

A lump formed in his throat as he bit the inside of his cheek, willing himself not to react. 

"Tony, you know Peter." Richard said as he wrapped his arm around the younger man, pulling him close. Peter's eyes flicked to Tony's hazel eyes, the ones that he had missed and dreamed about. The ones that were now filled with a new emotion. One that he couldn't read. 

"I do." Tony spoke dryly. "Peter." He nodded, looking at Peter for a second and back to Richard 

"When did you… when did this happen?"

"About a month ago," Richard grinned, kissing the side of Peter's head. Peter winced but tried not to let them see, of course, Tony noticed. 

"In fact it was Pepper that set us up. She told me there was a cute guy waiting for somebody to love and I was there in a flash." 

Peter cleared his throat and licked his lips, feeling uncomfortable and looking down at his shoes. "Rich, can we go grab a drink?" He muttered just loud enough for others to hear, looking at Tony to get his attention and then wrapping his arms around Richard's neck, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

Tony nearly had a fucking heart attack. He wanted to push them apart and drag Peter out of there. 

"Sure sweetness, let's go get one." Richard said to him and led him away. Peter couldn't handle being in that situation anymore, it was fucking killing him.

_ 'He respects my space and never makes me wait _

_ And he calls exactly when he says he will _

_ He's close to my mother _

_ Talks business with my father _

_ He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable' _

🌸

Two hours later and Peter was feeling more chilled out and okay. However Tony was not. He was sitting in his armchair, glaring at the 'happy' couple at the other side of the room. Peter was smiling and drinking, looking amazing in that suit. He was standing talking to Carol with Richard draped around him. 

Tony couldn't get it out of his head how much he wanted to stop all trading with Richard's company. That ridiculous man thinking he could just walk around with Peter on his arm like he's  _ his. _

The thought of Peter being touched by that man shook him to his core. That was a horrific thought. Those lips should have been claimed by him. The jealousy inside him was rising up, almost turning to rage. 

Peter was perfect and pure and he is letting this… this unworthy man into his heart. Tony couldn't think about anything else but to punch the guy out. But he knew this was all his fault. It was in Peter's best interest to find love, especially considering he picked Pepper over him.

He nearly growled when Richard sat down on a chair next to him as Peter was laughing with Deadpool about more possible pranks to play.

"Mr. Stark, having a good night?" Richard questioned. 

"Dick." Tony said. "Yes it's fine. How about you?"

"Yeah it's great. I have to admit I love the time your protegé gives me."

Tony clenched his teeth together and tried to seem like he was fine and not thinking about ripping this guys head off.

"Yeah? Sex that good?" 

Richard sighed and leaned forward. He turned to check where Peter was and then back to look at Tony. 

"We aren't having sex."

Tony raised an eyebrow. Fuck yes. Some of the tension in his body drifted away, he leaned forward too with the intention of getting all the information out of him.

"You're not? Why not?"

Richard put his head in one of his hands. "Not for a lack of trying… because fuck he's hot. He said something about not being ready, that there's this ex he isn't over."

"Really?" Tony could barely contain the happiness in his soul. Peter was still into him, and this guy didn't have as much of Peter's heart as he was letting on.

"He isn't even very touchy! He doesn't like to cuddle that much.  _ Sometimes _ he will let me hold his hand. I've only managed to get two nights with him, but with clothes on. He tells me I'm attractive but he doesn't even kiss me."

"Shit." Tony whispered, in his head he was doing cartwheels, but out loud, he sighed and gave the man a sympathetic smile. "That's not good."

"Yeah. Do you know anything about this ex?" He looked up to Tony in hope his 'friend' might help him.

"Well, what did he tell you?"

"Peter won't say much about him. He just tells me that getting over this guy is the hardest thing he's ever had to do."

Tony half smiled and licked his bottom lip. "That's rough." He tried to sound convincingly caring. "Do you want me to talk to him for you?"

Richard shook his head. "No no no, that's not right. If he finds out I've told you he'll kill me."

"I don't think so," Tony told him. "I've known him for a while, he'll talk to me."

Richard thought for a few seconds before conceding. "Sure okay, why not?"

Peter skipped through the crowd, spotting his men hunched over talking to each other. Without a second thought, he downed his drink and headed straight for Richard. 

Once there he perched himself on Richard's legs, straddling him and pulling him in for a kiss. Richard was shocked for a second but then took advantage of this moment and held onto Peter's neck, kissing him hard.

Tony scrunched up his face in jealousy and anger. He didn't want to look, instead he tried to focus on getting rid of his anger. Peter was obviously doing this just to hurt him.

When Peter pulled away, leaving a breathless Richard under him, he turned around and perched on his lap facing the other way, smiling at Tony with a bratty grin on his face. 

Their eyes met. Peter's face dropped and his face showed his real feelings for a moment. He could see that Tony wasn't okay with what had just transpired.

_ 'He can't see the smile I'm fakin' _

_ And my heart's not breakin' _

_ 'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all _

_ And you were wild and crazy _

_ Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated _

_ Got away by some mistake and now' _

Peter swallowed and got up, trying not to cry as he tore his eyes away, holding his hand out to Richard. 

"Come on Rich, I want to go home."

Richard, still gobsmacked, took his hand and stood up. "I'll drive you back."

Tony looked up at Peter, waiting for him to pull the pin on the bomb in his heart and say  _ 'no I'm coming to yours'. _ But he didn't. 

He just said, "Thanks Rich. Tony, I'll see you soon. I've left my suit in the lab to upgrade. Let me know when it's done and I'll come over."

All Tony could do was nod as he watched them walk away arm in arm.

_ 'But I miss screamin' and fightin' _

_ And kissin' in the rain _

_ And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name _

_ You're so in love that you act insane _

_ And that's the way I loved you _

_ Breakin' down and comin' undone _

_ It's a roller-coaster kinda rush _

_ And I never knew I could feel that much _

_ And that's the way I loved you' _


	12. Another Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/fMlLFcd3fYY

It was three days of sleepless nights for Tony. All he could fucking think about was that awful moment where Peter actually planted a huge kiss on someone Tony used to call a friend. Tony soul felt like torn, and his heart was constantly trying to kill him.

Tony felt like screaming, he couldn't get that awful picture out of his head. Every time he tried to, he failed. Tony couldn't even close his eyes because when he did he pictured Peter's sad and miserable face when they locked eyes. It killed him. Tony was constantly on edge, wanting to cry, wanting to scream. 

He wasn't sleeping, he wasn't eating and at best he only saw Pepper once or twice a day. She tried to help on the first day, but nothing helped him. Tony didn't even know where she had been the last two days, but he honestly didn't care.

Not long ago Peter was sitting on those stairs, looking at him like he wanted to pounce on him and kiss him so hard that there was no other way to live. And yet there he was now, with a slightly younger man, practically fucking the guy on Tony's couch. That wasn't okay! Peter had to have seen the hurt in his eyes.

And yet as Tony was sitting here playing the victim what made it worse is he could have prevented all of this.

He showered in cold water to keep him from falling asleep, because the moment he did all he thought about was Peter. Peter's body curled into his in the bed. Peter is his shower, thinking about his body to get himself off. Peter telling him he loved him. Peter singing to him to calm him down.

It was 3.48 in the morning, and it had all finally sank in. Tony had broken his own heart and now had to live out his life with his wrong decision. All day he put a smile on his face around Pepper, but ran off to the lab as soon as he could to make Peter's suit better for him. He watched the empty seat at Peter's desk, wishing he was here to talk to. 

Every time they spoke Peter was begging to be loved, begging to have just a piece of him. Every single touch was like fucking magic and Tony just threw him away. He was supposed to be happy with Pepper, try and get his life back together, but all that happened was he was more miserable. Peter couldn't possibly be happy with  _ Richard _ . Richard was a boring stiff with nowhere near the sex appeal that Tony had.

Tony's eyes were red and stinging as he sobbed into his hands, tears dripping onto the desk. He felt like screaming, because all he had in his head and heart was Peter Parker. 

Peter probably hated him, probably thought he was the worst person in the world. He couldn't even imagine what was going on with the younger man, it was like he didn't know him anymore.

_ 'Was only just the other day _

_ And all this felt so real _

_ Like nothing could go wrong _

_ Was like a never ending dream _

_ Nothing ever changed _

_ For so long' _

"Friday?" His voice squeaked up.

"Yes sir?" His AI answered him. 

"Is the camera on Peter's suit still working?"

"Yes sir. Would you like me to screen the current footage?"

"Please babe." Tony tried to wipe the tears off his cheek and turned on the screen in front of him. 

The screen lit up and the camera footage played on the screen. The suit was obviously handing over a chair in Peter's room and it was pointed at the bed were Peter was.

Peter wasn't sleeping either. He was cross legged on the bed with his hair in a mess. He looked tired too, like he hadn't slept in a while. 

Tony noticed the boxes under the bed, recognizing some of the things poking out the sides. "So he wasn't bluffing." He sighed. 

He then realised what it was Peter was wearing, which was the shirt that he had stolen from Tony a month ago, and yeah, it still looked better on him.

Peter was silent, rubbing his eyes and fiddling with something in his hand. There was a noise like a text message over in Peter's apartment. The younger man jumped to grab his now lit up phone and checked it, reading it, he sighed and placed it back down without answering. 

_ 'But now you've gone away _

_ And I've tried turning the page _

_ And it's just not the same' _

Tony took out his phone and sent a text. 

**TS - ** _ 'Suit is ready. Tomorrow, 10am, be here.' _

As soon as he sent it, Tony leaned forward to watch Peter's reaction. Peter's phone lit up and again, he jumped to look at it, smiling slightly as he read the text. 

"Thank god." Tony felt like it suddenly became suddenly easier to breathe. 

Peter spent a few minutes looking at the text, typing and then deleting whatever he was going to reply. He finally settled on a text and sent it before chucking his phone to the other side of the bed and scrunching up in a ball. 

**PP - ** _ 'Thank you. See you then.' _

Tony licked his lips, wore a tired smile and rested his head on the table. 

"Friday, wake me up at 9am."

"I will Sir."

Tony let himself drift off to a much needed sleep.

\---

True to her word Friday woke Tony up at 9am, giving Tony plenty of time to run upstairs, shower, make himself smell irresistible and come back downstairs to the lab. He managed to be down within a half hour, and spent the rest of the time working out so his muscles were flexed glistening slightly. Then he decided, there's nothing hotter than a man with tools working with his hands. 

\---

Peter paused outside the door of the lab. On one hand, yes he wanted to see Tony. On the other, fuck it hurt so much. Every time there were together it was weird. Why couldn't they ever have a normal relationship?

Breathing in, he opened the door and entered with his head held high and his back straight. He had to face him sooner or later.

Peter walked in and at first he didn't see Tony, that was until he passed the desks and looked over to the end of the room. The man in question was lying on a skateboard under a machine, fixing it.

Peter marvelled for a second before remembering the situation and clearing his throat to claim his attention.

"Oh hey." Tony spoke as he wheeled back from under the machine. He stood up and picked a rag off the side to wipe the grease from his forehead. "Didn't hear you come in." 

The older man looked the younger man in the eyes and watched his face turn from surprised, to turned on, to remembering, to sad and then finally to a cold expression. 

Peter's mouth hung open as his eyes roamed over Tony's body. Fuck he was hot. But then he remembered that he wasn't allowed to touch him, and even if he did, Richard and Pepper would be hurt. 

As soon as Peter looked him in the eye, Tony did all he could to keep the eye contact. 

_ 'Where do I go from here? _

_ I've never felt so strange _

_ I've never felt so torn _

_ 'Cause ever since you came my way _

_ I learned to live by you _

_ And now I'm on my own' _

"How are you?"

Peter swallowed as he watched Tony get close to him, stopping but one foot away from him. 

"Fine. I'm… I'm fine."

Tony cocked an eyebrow. "Convincing." He spoke softly. "How's your man friend?"

Peter blushed and looked down at the floor, noticing as Tony took another step closer forward. 

"He's fine. I'm going to his tonight."

"Are you now?" Tony whispered. "Because last I heard you don't put out for him."

"What?" Peter's head snapped up to look at him. "How did you know that?"

"He told me. He asked me to find out why, but I don't need to ask Peter. I already know."

Peter clenched his jaw and shot him a piercing glare. "What is it you  _ think _ you know?"

Tony took another small step forward, not close enough for them to touch yet.

"You don't want to have sex with him Pete. You want to have sex with me."

Peter gulped, his face straight but his eyes filled up with a strange kind of innocence. "I do?" 

"Yeah you do." Tony whispered. One more step and now Peter could smell that expensive aftershave. He closed his eyes for a second and thought about jumping on Tony and kissing the life out of him. 

_ 'I know I need some time _

_ To leave all of this behind _

_ 'Cause I'm still hanging on' _

But then he remembered Richard. And he finally understood why Tony had rules. 

"What are you doing Tony? You don't even like me." His voice was barely more than a whisper. 

"Who told you that? Because those words never left my mouth."

Peter shrugged, flushed and totally adorable. He didn't answer.

"You see Pete, I can't handle you dating Richard. In fact, seeing you with him… fuck it damn near killed me." Tony slowly stretched out his hand and softly moved the hair from Peter's forehead, making the younger's eyes fall shut again. 

"I didn't think you'd care."

"Peter." Tony removed his hand and kept it by his side. "Peter look at me."

Peter did as he was told. "I am."

"Good. Does he treat you right?" Tony asked him.

Peter nodded. "Yeah. He treats me really well, May and Happy love him."

Tony bowed his head and rubbed his head with his hand, shutting his eyes as he tried to accept this new normal. 

"It hurts me to see you two together," Tony replied. 'I've hardly slept."

Peter scoffed and made a face like he was going to burst into tears with anger. 

"You feel hurt?  _ You _ feel hurt? Fucking hell Tony!" He exclaimed as his bottom lip shook. 

"I've had to watch you chose her over and over again! I've watched you kiss her, hug her and play house with her! Every damn day my heart was BREAKING and you feel you have the monopoly because the man you rejected found someone else?!" 

Peter's face was red with anger as he spoke. "How selfish are you?"

Tony tried his best to stay strong. He  _ knew _ Peter still loved him. He knew by the way that Peter looked at him, by the fact that he kept Tony's stuff under his bed instead of chucking it out. Peter wore his clothes to bed and texted him back instantly at nearly 4am. Peter's heart was still marked with TS and they both knew it.

"Why are you with him Peter?"

"Because he  _ loves _ me. He tells me every day." Peter tried to move away from him. 

"Yeah, but do you love him?" Tony grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him back. "Do you love him like you love me?"

"It doesn't matter Tony! You chose her!" He tried to wriggle out of his grasp 

Tony pulled him as close as Peter would let him. They were only inches away from touching, holding on tightly to each others wrists.

"I'll leave her. I'll leave her for you right now. Say the word and I'm yours."

Peter nearly had an aneurysm hearing those words. He wanted to hear these words for so long. But the problem was Richard was growing on him, and hadn't hurt him. Richard had never made feel like Peter was less than what he deserved. 

"Tony… fuck Tony I'm with Richard."

"Leave him. Fly away with me. Wherever you want to go, we'll get married in Vegas, we'll travel the world together."

Peter sobbed as he shook his head and let go of Tony, slowly stepping back. "I can't. I like him Tony, he treats me nicely. I'm going to give him my virginity soon. Not tonight, but for his birthday next week. Maybe… maybe I could love him like I love you?"

Tony grimaced, the look of disdain, heartbreak and disgust on his face. Tony wanted to be that person, the special person who could share Peter's first experience all the way to his last.

"What does he have that I don't?"

"He's never hurt me." Peter whispered, picking up his suit from the desk and shoving it in his bag. 

Tony was silent as he forced a glare into the floor, knowing that things could never be the same again. 

"I love you Tony." 

The doors shut as Peter left the lab, and Tony couldn't handle being this sober. He sat down in his chair and reached for the emergency bottle of scotch he kept under his desk. 

_ 'I'm sitting here, I'm all alone _

_ Don't wanna to move, nowhere to go _

_ 'Cause nothing's real, I just wanna hide _

_ 'Cause you're not here _

_ I'm breathing in _

_ And I'm breathing out _

_ I'm wide awake _

_ But I can't hear a sound _

_ Though I'm breathing in _

_ I can't think about _

_ Another you, another me, another now' _


	13. Come Wake Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/TLa1LU9NUzI
> 
> Less Angsty, last two chapters coming soon. It'll end very well don't you worry.

It's been a week and a half since their fight in the lab. However different the situation was, they had begun to text each other again. Mainly just morning and night texts to wish each other well, but it was something more than nothing.

It meant so much to Tony to he able to do that again. Starting out small and you never know, maybe Richard and Peter won't last forever?

_ 'I can usually drink you right off of my mind _

_ But I miss you tonight _

_ I can normally push you right out of my heart _

_ But I'm too tired to fight' _

Tony spent his nights since then drinking and flicking through Peter's social media. Each new post made him feel worse, but he couldn't not look. 

Richard took him to the beach, on a private boat ride, bought him all the new gadgets. Tony hated him. But Peter looked happy and that's all that mattered. 

If he scrolled through for long enough, he got to the pre-Richard time period, where every other post was about Iron Man. Peter gushed over the suit, interviews, posting 'gifs' and photosets of Tony. He even found pictures that Peter had taken of himself with Tony unbeknownst in the background working away.

He loved seeing these. Peter's Instagram was like a shrine to him. His twitter however was just a bunch of thirst tweets, but again, he had to scroll a while to get to the ones about him.

Pepper hadn't been around him much, in fact he wasn't sure what was going on with them. If he didn't feel her warmth beside him in bed late at night, he would have guessed she had moved out. But Tony was too boozed up to actually give a damn about any of it. Perhaps he should have asked her where she had been, being her husband. But all he cared about right now was forgetting. 

_ 'Yeah the whole thing begins _

_ And I let you sink into my veins _

_ And I feel the pain like it's new _

_ Everything that we were, _

_ Everything that you said, _

_ Everything that I did and that I couldn't do _

_ Plays through tonight' _

Tomorrow he had been invited to May and Happy's house for an early lunch / dinner, as a thank you for all the financial support that he had given them. Luckily he managed to get out of Happy that Peter was going to be the fourth person at the table, and all without Richard, which was perfect because this meant that Tony would be getting some Peter alone time.

He couldn't go over to see Peter drunk. It wouldn't be polite, so he had to stay away from the good stuff tomorrow. Taking his last swig of the night, he retired to his bedroom and fell onto the bed, face first and fully dressed.

How the fuck did he get like this?

-

When he turned up at May's apartment the next day, he had spent all day making sure he looked as decent as he could. He had slight bags under his eyes but he didn't care. Tony groomed himself so his beard and hair were flawless, wearing one of his most gorgeous suits. It was his out of Iron Man suit armour. If he felt powerful, then he could get through anything, and right now he needed the help.

He had brought a bag of things with him, as anyone does to a dinner party. Wines, flowers and some sort of desert. He also brought Peter's favourite chocolate, you know, for brownie points. 

_ 'Turn the TV up loud just to drown out your voice _

_ But I can't forget _

_ Now I'm all out of ideas _

_ And baby I'm down to my last cigarette' _

When Tony knocked on the door he sucked in a breath and plastered a fake smile on his face. 

-

Peter didn't join until dinner was served, he was out with friends and came in just as Happy was serving up. When he waltzed in, he stopped and focused on Tony, their faces softening up as their eyes met.

"Hey," he smiled warmly.

"Hey Peter, how are you doing?"

Peter grinned, "I'm good. It's good to see you."

"It's always good to see you too." 

A mutual fluttering of the heart started between them, as everything else just sort of melted away. It was just them, getting lost in each other's eyes.

Their cute eye contact moment was ruined when May walked in between them to get the wine glasses and told them to head to the table for dinner.

Happy and May sat on one side of the table and Peter and Tony sat on the other, getting stuck into conversations just like old times. May had thanked Tony at least 17 times already and he kept telling them that it was no bother.

"Would you just let me be a friend?" He asked them. "After everything Happy and Peter have done for me, they mean so much to me. And you are their number one girl, I'm not going to stand by and do nothing if I can help."

May was really appreciative of him, and kept insisting she did something back. But Tony had none of it. As they discussed this, Peter was looking up to Tony with the dreamiest look on his face.

_ 'Yeah you're probably asleep deep inside of your dreams _

_ While I'm sitting here crying and trying to sleep _

_ Yeah wherever you are baby now I am sure you've moved on _

_ And aren't thinking twice about me and you tonight' _

Conversations went really well, and soon enough it was just Tony and Peter at the table, sharing the last piece of cake as they caught up.

"I'm actually getting pretty good at it!" Peter laughed as he nudged Tony. "Boxing seems to be easier than I thought."

"You would say that wouldn't you," Tony chuckled as he took a sip. "You and your spider strength. That's got to be cheating!"

Peter stuck out his tongue and they both laughed. "You're just jealous because I might have more strength than you one day, old man,"

Tony gasped and pushed him in a playful way. "I'm not  _ that  _ old! I mean I'm going a bit grey but I'm still fit."

"There's nothing wrong with you Tony, especially with all that grey, it's cute."

"It is?" 

"Yeah it suits you." Peter smirked and eyed him up, getting a smirk in return. 

"I've missed you kid." Tony whispered softly, resting one elbow on the table and his head in his hand.

"I've missed you too, Mr. Stark." Peter's eyes were filled with happiness. "So much."

Tony cleared his throat. "How was Richard's birthday?" Tony asked dryly. He obviously didn't want to know, but something inside him made him ask. 

"Celebrations have been put off until later tonight, he had to go away for business. He came back earlier today, but I'll go over later."

"How come you didn't go over straight away?"

"Eh." Peter shrugged. "I wanted to see you first."

Tony blushed. Tony Stark actually fucking blushed. Which was the most adorable and attractive thing that Peter had ever seen in his entire life.

Peter studied him for a few minutes, eyes searching his face. His face dropped as the expression became more worried.

"What is it?" Tony questioned. "What's wrong?"

"You haven't been sleeping." 

Tony tilted his head and breathed out heavily. "I didn't realise it was obvious." His smile had faded and his eyes started to look insecure.

"Are you forgetting that I know you? Why aren't you sleeping?" Peter spoke softly.

"Been spending too much time with the bar."

Peter had a flash of anger over his face. His brows furrowed and his eyes squinted.

"Why?"

Tony's eyes flickered over Peter's and then down to their plate, picking up a piece and debating whether or not to eat it.

"It doesn't matter Peter."

"Except that it does." Peter informed him. "It matters to me. So tell me,"

_ 'I know that you're movin' on _

_ I know I should give you up _

_ But I keep hopin' that you'll trip and fall back in love' _

Tony looked around to see where the others were and then back to Peter. He fought with himself whether he was actually going to be honest or not. His head spinning, and christ he needed another drink. Tony eyed up the glass filled with wine on the table and nervously tapped against the table.

"Tell me."

"I can't Peter. It's not something I can just… blurt out."

"I'm really worried about you Tony. Please let me in," The younger insisted.

"Okay." Tony nodded, ceasing the tapping and shifting in his seat. "Okay." He fidgeted for a second before he leaned forward, looked Peter in the eyes and went to open his mouth.

Tony gently picked Peter's hand up and held it between his own, letting himself open up.

"Peter… I am in L-" his sentence was cut off by Peter's phone ringing loudly. 

Peter watched as Tony's eyes fell shut in annoyance and leaned back. "Sorry Tony, two seconds."

He reached for his phone and answered the call, putting on a happy voice as he did so.

_ 'Time's not healin' anything _

_ Baby this pain is worse than it ever was _

_ I know that you can't hear me but baby I need you to save me tonight' _

"Hey Rich, how are you?... I'm good... Yes of course!... Why?... Is everything okay?... I'll leave now… See you soon."

Peter hung up the phone and turned to Tony, giving him a half smile. "Richard's sent me a car and it's outside. He says he needs to speak to me immediately."

Tony nodded. "Okay. Enjoy your night." He was cold again. As Peter stood up, Tony held onto his wrist but not too tightly, looking up at him.

"What is it?" Peter whispered. 

"It's okay to say no. Remember that you don't have to do anything if you don't want to. Make sure you're safe Peter."

Peter looked at him as if he was about to confess his undying love for Tony. He swallowed and nodded, keeping their eyes on each other.

"And uh. If it were me you were going to be with tonight, it would have been the best night of our lives. I'd have made it special for you. I'm… I'm sorry it's not me."

Peter felt his heart explode and all his senses tingle as he had an overwhelming flash of happiness and love in his heart. He leaned over and softly pressed a kiss on the top of Tony's head, lingering for a moment and then leaving his side to grab his stuff.

_ 'Tonight your memory burns like a fire _

_ With everyone it grows higher and higher _

_ I can't get over it, I just can't put out this love _

_ I just sit in these flames and pray that you'll come back _

_ Close my eyes tightly, hold on and hope that I'm dreaming _

_ Come wake me up' _

-

It was around 8pm when he got back to the penthouse, tired and ready for bed. The thought that right now Richard was getting Peter in a way that now Tony never could was killing him. It should have been him getting to whisper in his ear how beautiful he is, laying kisses all over his beautiful body, making the younger man make the sweetest sounds. 

Tony could still feel the soft press of Peter's lips on his forehead. He hadn't even got to experience the younger man kiss sober, and he was kicking himself for it.

But Richard was probably already having his was with Peter, and it made him wretch. He wanted to throw up by the thought and no matter how hard he tried, the idea of them together wouldn't leave his mind.

He forced himself out of the elevator, and as he approached the open space he saw Pepper standing there waiting for him. Her makeup hadn't been done and she was nervously leaning against the back of the couch.

"Hey Pep," He greeted her. "Are you okay?"

Pepper jumped when she heard his voice, looking uncomfortable and scared. As Tony tried to walk towards her, she took a step back.

"Pepper what's wrong?"

"I uh. I have something to tell you Tony."

Tony had never seen her act like this. It was unsettling to say the least. Her eyes were shifting around the room as she tried to find the words to say.

"Go ahead, I'm listening." He told her as he stood as close to her as she would let him.

  
  
  
  


"I'm pregnant."

  
  
  


_ 'Oh I'm dreaming _

_ Come wake me up' _


	14. Office Quote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/7jMetPMyxog 
> 
> Not a song, but a quote. Plot twist and enjoy the ride.

Tony nearly fell over in shock. "Wh...what?" He couldn't possibly have seen this turn of events coming. When was the last time they had even had sex?

"I'm pregnant." She repeated, her eyes still filled with worry. 

Tony took a few steps backwards and sat down on one of the stools behind him, his eyes drilling holes into the floor. 

If he had just chosen Peter, he wouldn't be in this fucking predicament. He and Peter would be in bed watching tv and snuggling up, Pepper wouldn't be pregnant and Richard wouldn't be in their personal lives. 

His eyes filled up with a whole range of emotions. Why did he let his life get this messed up? He couldn't be a father… not now. All he could think about was hitting the bottle. Hard.

"Tony…? Are you okay?"

Tony slowly shook his head, keeping his eyes where they were. His face was white as a sheet. Nothing was going right. 

"Please say something."

He looked up at his wife with a scared look on his face, feeling a panic rise up inside him. 

"You… how… how far along are you?"

Pepper bit down on her bottom lip, there was something else she wasn't telling him but she couldn't find the words.

"About two weeks, so it's still early." Her voice was quiet as she spoke.

Tony stood up, "Hold on a second," he gestured for her to be quiet. "Wait…" he tried to count it up in his head as he paced for a few moments.

He raised his head and spun around on his heel to look at her. 

"It's not mine." He stated. It wasn't a question. He just knew. Tony got his answer when Pepper burst into tears and cried into her hands, shaking her head. 

"It's not."

"You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you  _ not _ to?"

Tony should have been more angry than he was. A huge part of him was relieved, as he didn't want to be a father, or tied to Pepper forever. He was focused, nay, determined to win Peter back, which he just decided right now. 

In all honesty the only part he was pissed off about was how  _ he _ had kept to the sanctity of marriage and cut Peter out of his life just so he could stay true to his vows to her, and she couldn't. 

"I don't understand Pepper. Wanna fill me in on the bits I'm missing? Because last time I checked this wasn't a part of the plan yet? And who the fuck is the father?" He didn't yell at her, because no matter how angry he was, Tony couldn't treat a woman like that. Especially his wife. Especially when she was pregnant and looking terrified already. 

She tried to calm herself down, but it wasn't working. 

"Pepper?" He spoke softer. "Come here," 

Tony had walked over to her and opened his arms for her to fall into. "Look, I'm not gonna scream at you so just talk to me okay? What the hell is going on?"

Pepper sniffled into his shirt and breathed him in before pulling back and trying to look him in the eyes. 

"You… we were supposed to be making our relationship work again Tony… but it didn't work, and you've… you've been drinking a lot and I was starting to think… maybe… maybe you don't love me anymore," she wiped her cheek and sniffled again, trying to keep her breathing under control. 

Tony waited for more, giving her a minute to gather her thoughts.

"So… so then I was lonely and sad, and I was with a friend, and he was lonely and sad too."

"A friend?" Tony repeated. "It better not be one of the team Pep - I swear to god!"

"It's not… it's not Tony don't worry. But… but he told me all the things I wanted to hear from you, and we had drinks."

"So you fucked him? Is that what you're telling me? He told you that you were pretty so you decided, 'hey fuck wedding vows' and went to bed with the guy?"

Pepper looked horrified, she didn't know what to say to him. Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes for a moment and then carried on speaking. 

"Uh yeah. But… but it wasn't just the one night… we saw each other quite a few times over the last two weeks…"

Tony scrunched up his face in anger and took some steps back, turning to head towards the kitchen.

"So you had an affair." He confirmed as he opened the fridge and pulled out a can of cola, opening it and bringing it to his lips, looking at her expectantly. 

She nodded as more tears streamed down her cheek. "Yes." She replied. "I'm sorry."

Tony cleared his throat and closed his eyes. He made the wrong decision. He knew the moment he made that fucking decision that it was the bad path, but no, Tony couldn't listen to his heart. Fucking idiot. 

"Sorry?" He answered. "'Sorry' only works if it was one night. 'Sorry' doesn't matter right now. Do you… do you know how much I had to do to make sure I was faithful to you? Jesus Pepper!" 

He leaned on his hands, resting on the island in the kitchen. His head was bowed down as he tried to comprehend all of this new information. 

"How many times?"

"What?"

"How many times did you go see this man?" He looked up to her. 

"About… uh… nine?"

Tony laughed out of annoyance. "Was that a question? Don't you know?"

"It's all sort of a blur I guess. I didn't keep count."

Tony scoffed and sipped at his can before walking over to his armchair and falling into it. 

"You didn't count. So it could be more than nine." He summed up to himself. 

Pepper slowly walked over to the sofa near him and sat down. "That's not all."

"Christ. What could you possibly have to add on to this joyous news?" He groaned as he rested his head backwards against the head of the chair. 

"The father." Pepper spoke quietly. "You're not going to like this."

"Because I liked the last piece of news so much." He moved his head to look at her. "Tell me. Who is it? Someone I know?"

She nodded, fear stricken face as she opened her mouth to tell him. When she spoke, he couldn't quite make it out.

"What?!" He sat up straight, his face slightly more angry than before. If she said who he thinks she said, he was going to burst into flames. 

"Richard."

Tony was acting on impulse now, not thinking about what he was doing. He shot up to his feet and charged over to get his keys. 

"That fucking cunt!" He picked them up and turned to look at her. 

"Really Pepper?! Fucking Richard?! It's one thing hurting me? But bringing Peter into all of this?! Peter doesn't fucking deserve this shit! You… you fucking broke his heart!" He was shouting now. Not at her particularly, but the anger wouldn't come out any other way. Verbally was the best way to get the energy out. 

"So did you!" 

"Fuck you Pepper." He spat at her. "Just fuck you." He stopped to breathe, he needed to try and stay level headed. 

"Does Peter know?"

Pepper was silent, catching his eye.

"Does. Peter. Know?" 

"Richard is telling him tonight." She replied.

Tony was seething with anger. "Get your stuff and go and stay with someone, I don't want to see your face when I get back. Use the joint account and buy an entire hotel for all I care. Just don't be here."

He didn't even look at her as he spoke, because he was storming towards the door, with every intention of giving Richard everything that was coming to him.

😬

Richard was sitting on his sofa when the knock came at the door. He was hoping it was Peter coming back and forgiving him, he felt so stupid. When he opened it, however it was not the younger man in question, but Tony. 

"Dick." He greeted him. 

"Oh Tony… would you like to come in?" Richard tried to be as polite as he could be, but Tony had other ideas. He pushed passed him and entered the apartment. 

"Is this a business visit or a personal one?" Richard asked him as he watched Tony shake with anger. 

"Peter here?" Tony asked coldly as he peered around the room, leaning over to look into the kitchen.

Richard shook his head, looking at his watch. "No. He left a while ago now."

Tony nodded and gritted his teeth. "Did anything happen here tonight? Did you hurt him?"

"If you're referring to us having sex then no, nothing happened."

Tony nodded. "Good. Or this would have been even uglier."

Before Richard could open his mouth to speak again there was a fist flying at his face, almost knocking him over. 

"THAT'S FOR PEPPER!!" Tony exclaimed as he readied another fist, throwing it at the other side of the man's face. 

"THAT ONE'S FOR PETER!"

Tony grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him forward, blood dripping down Richard's face from the cut made from Tony's ring.

"And this one?" He said more quietly. "This one's for me." Tony head-butted him and let the man fall on the floor in pain. 

"You go near Peter again and I'll kill you. I hope you and Pepper are happy together Dick, I really do. And if I were you I would clear out some closet space… she has a lot of baggage."

With that last statement, Tony stormed out of the apartment and back to a Pepper-less penthouse.

🌸

When it rained, it poured, and tonight Odin must have sensed his mood and decided to be melodramatic, making the skies rain down on him. Perfect weather for this horrible feeling in his soul.

All he could think about was how heartbroken Peter must be. He was probably in his room crying his heart out, wondering why he was never good enough for people. Tony wanted to text him, call him or even turn up at his house. But what was he going to say? What was there to say?

He didn't want to make things worse for Peter. Seeing Tony's face may bring back all the hurt he had caused, and who knows what kind of heartbreak would unleash in the poor man.

_ "He's never hurt me."  _ Peter said to him that day in the lab. 

In his heart, Tony knew that even though he had hurt Peter, it was never that bad. And the only reason Richard did what he did was because Peter was too hung up on Tony. 

Business was not going to go well after this, but all he wanted was to sleep for 12 hours. Everything was too difficult to process, to take into any kind of rational thought. Maybe things would look brighter in the morning?

Tony texted Happy as he entered the building.

**TS - ** _ 'Do me a favour and check up on the kid? Make sure he's okay. He might need some company tonight." _

**HH - ** _ 'He won't come out of his room. I've left some food with him but he won't touch it. What happened?' _

**TS - ** _ 'Richard got Pepper pregnant.' _

**HH - ** _ 'You're joking? Are you okay? I'll update you about Peter later on. I'm gonna go out and buy him some comfort food.' _

**TS - ** _ 'Thank you. I'm going to be fine, just make sure he is.' _

By 11 pm, Tony was sitting in a darkened penthouse, looking out onto the city as rain covered it. Everything looked so dull and glum, and he wondered if anyone in the city was feeling this shit tonight?

He froze when he heard the elevator doors open, hoping to god it wasn't Pepper. Tony stood up and prepared himself for whoever was coming through to see him.


	15. Driven By You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/eBQLOq91tl4

Tony waited for the person to walk into view, not looking at the space as he walked towards the kitchen. He hoped to god it wasn't Pepper coming back for mercy, not that he hated her, but he didn't want to see her anytime soon.

"Tony?" Peter's sweet voice asked softly. 

Tony's eyes closed as soon as he heard that voice. He missed that voice so much. The older man spun around to see Peter standing in the middle of the room, dripping wet. He was wearing a large hoodie and he was shivering from the cold. Peter's eyes were red. 

Tony's heart started finally beating like normal again, knowing that even in the most upsetting of times, the younger man still wanted to come to him for help.

"Peter." Tony nearly melted when he saw this poor and adorable man standing before him looking so innocent.

Tony moved towards him, grabbing a blanket from the sofa and wrapping it around the younger man. "You must be freezing," he said as he pulled the younger man against his chest. 

Peter snuggled into him and shivered in his arms, closing his eyes as he felt the older man's arms around him.

"I'm sorry for just turning up." Peter told him. "I didn't know where else to go."

Tony led him to sit down on the sofa and sat beside him, leaving some space between them both. 

"You can always come here, are you okay?" Tony asked him with the most care filled voice he could muster. The younger man had obviously been non-stop crying, his eyes looked like they stung.

Peter's chin was shivering as he shook his head, looking down at his hands. He pulled the blanket around him tighter. 

"I don't understand why I'm never enough." He whispered. "I'm just nothing compared to her."

Tony's heart felt like shattering into a billion pieces. Peter was everything good in the world, he deserved so much love and so much happiness.

'You're everything." Tony whispered. "She's the one who is nothing compared to you."

"Then how come every time I try to love someone they pick her?" Peter questioned as he wiped his eyes, using the blanket to dry his face and his neck. "What the hell is wrong with me that every time I offer my heart it just gets thrown away?"

"I don't know why that idiot did what he did, but Peter, I should have picked you… when you kissed me that first night, we should have ran away together. If it helps, I  _ may _ have beat the shit out of Richard earlier."

Peter looked up at Tony for the first time, an amused smirk crawling into his face as he blushed. "You hurt him?"

Tony nodded and raised his eyebrows. "I did. I couldn't have him to that to you."

"He did worse to you Tony," Peter reminded him, "Way worse." Peter's nose was red, as were his cheeks. He looked beyond adorable.

Tony shrugged and rubbed his knees, sitting back and nodded. "I guess. But I couldn't control my anger. I can't believe he fucking did that to you. Cheating on you is not on."

Peter blushed adorably. "You really are my hero."

"Peter, does Happy and May know you're here?"

Peter shook his head. "No, I snuck out the window. They wouldn't let me leave if I asked them, just in case I did something stupid."

Tony pulled out his phone and chucked it to Peter. "Text them and let them know, you can stay here tonight if you want. We can be sad together."

Peter wrote the text and sent it. He knew what he wanted when he came here, but he didn't have the nerve to get it out.

"We've both hurt each other a lot." Peter spoke quietly. "I never meant to you know, hurt you that is. I'm such a newby at this love shit and my heart just kept getting the better of me."

The older man shook his head. "They're allowed to, you're still young. Love can drive you crazy. I'm just glad that fucker is out of your life."

"He cheated on me." Peter stated. "I thought he loved me."

"But did you love him?" Tony asked with a soft voice, tilting his head. 

Peter thought for a second and shook his head. "Guess not… but I liked him. I thought maybe if I gave him everything I would end up loving him."

Tony nodded as he listened to the younger man. 

"That's not what your first time is for. Your first time is for someone you care about, who feels for you as you do for them."

"Is that how it was with you?"

Tony opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again. He tried to remember all the way back to the first time. He scrunched his face up and shook his head. 

"I can't remember much. It didn't last long. I remember I really liked her at the time, thought myself some kind of stud."

Peter giggled. "Stud?"

Tony smiled, "Oh yeah, a total stud."

Tony stood up and walked towards the kitchen. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

Peter stood up and followed him, putting the blanket over the back of the sofa. "I'm fine, thank you. I'm hungry for something else."

Tony raised a brow as he turned to look at him. He hoped to god he heard that right. In the back of his mind Tony was telling himself to march over there, pin him to a wall and claim that sober kiss. 

"I was supposed to be losing my virginity to him tonight, I nearly gave him everything."

"He didn't deserve that. Whoever you end up giving it to is the luckiest man in the world."  _ I wish it were me. But I've hurt you too much. _

"Come here for a second." Peter told him. Tony did as he was told and walked over to him, stopping one step away from him. 

"What were you going to say at the table earlier?"

Tony raised a hand and gently moved the curls away from Peter's forehead. "I was going to tell you I love you."

Peter broke out in a grin, his eyes tearing up again but this time for the best of reasons. "You do?"

Tony nodded. "I do. And I understand if you don't want me anymore, I haven't exactly been the nicest to you. But I'll spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that I do."

Peter stepped in closer, so their bodies were an inch away from each other. "I'll always want you Tony. I'm yours."

It was Tony's turn to beam, "I'm yours too." 

"I don't know about you Tony, but I had plans for tonight. What do you say we see them through?" 

Stark took a second to understand what he was saying, Peter was smirking at him. As realisation came over his face, the younger man giggled. "You mean…?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah."

🌸

Like a magnetic force, Peter and Tony attached themselves together, lips meeting in the most beautiful kiss. Peter's lips tasted like berries and sweets. They were soft and surprisingly warm as they moved against Tony's, pressing gently against him. It was like the first kiss, only better. Much better. They fell into a rhythm as every movement of their mouths were filled with love.

As Tony pressed in more, Peter opened his mouth, letting Tony's tongue explore its way. They both moaned into the kiss as it deepened, both of their hands holding onto each other for dear life. Peter tilted his head, making the kiss needier, humming into the kiss to make his lips vibrate against Tony's. 

Tony's hands were on Peter's waist, pulling their hips together. Every second was electrifying, both of them pouring every single drop of missing each other into their touches. They nibbled at each others lips as Peter tried to take control and bite down on Tony's lip.

Tony pulled away, forehead to forehead, breathing heavily. "Fuck you're a good kisser."

"Told you I was." Peter's eyes were still closed, feeling the tingle against his lips still. "Fuck Tony I never want to kiss anyone else ever."

"You'll never have to." Tony whispered, "Coming to bed?"

Peter nodded. "Yes please."

Tony rubbed their noses together and held onto his hand, slowly moving away and leading Peter towards his room. Peter slowly followed, eyes stuck on Tony's gaze. 

Once in the room, Tony closed the door over, so the room was just light enough for them to make each other out. 

"Tony… tony adore me." Peter whispered warm in his ear as he was being pulled against him. "I've waited for his, dreamed about this, I know you've never been with a man before… neither have I…"

Tony grinned and let his kisses pepper Peter's jaw, travelling down to his neck. Peter's eyes were closed, leaning his neck back to give better access. 

"Let me ravish you Peter," Tony whispered as he started to push the younger's shirt up, his large hands spreading over Peter's stomach.

"Mmmnnn…" Peter moaned as he felt those fingers graze over his nipples, feeling them harden. Tony pulled the shirt over Peter's head and pushed him back to lie on the bed. 

Tony then pulled his own shirt, belt and jeans off before joining Peter on the bed. Hovering over him, touching their chests together for the first time. Peter's mouth hung open as he felt the warmth of the billionaire against him.

"Tony," Peter whispered, as he let his hands trail down Tony's body. "You feel so good,"

"You haven't seen anything yet."

Tony leaned down again and pressed his lips against Peter's, devouring the younger man. Peter's hands were clasped in his hair, pulling him in as he moaned.

Tony's stiff dick was pressing up against him, and it felt amazing. Peter couldn't think straight, his head was completely blank as the love of his life moved his kisses down the body. 

"Ohmygod." Peter whispered as Tony's tongue flicked over his nipples before sucking them hard. He bucked his hips up into Tony, letting him know that he was hard too. 

The older man trailed his kisses to the hem of Peter's trousers, still wet and needing rid off. His undid the button and pulled them off of him.

"Tooony…"

Tony wasn't freaking out like he thought he would be. He had looked up this on google to learn a few things, just in case he did get this opportunity. There was so much he wanted to do, but tonight they would keep this simple.

Peter groaned as he felt Tony's kisses against his thighs, his stiff cock pulsing under his boxers. As his lips licked and nibbled Peter's thighs, his hands pulled down his underwear, freeing the man's big and pleading erection. 

"Oh fuck." Tony was surprised about the magnificence of the youngers cock. He licked his lips and didn't even give it a second thought, he wanted this just as much as Peter did.

"Don't mute your noises Peter, I want to hear you."

Before Peter could process what the man just said, he felt a wet warmth around his dick. It felt so good that he felt the wind was knocked out of him. Bucking his hips up, he could feel the heat rushing through his body. Peter looked down to see the most perfect and wonderful sight he had ever seen, Tony Stark with his lips wrapped around his dick, bobbing his head and sucking hard. 

"Ooohh shit Tony… fuck ohmygodohmygod." He moaned loudly, face red and breathing rapidly. 

"Tony finger me as you do that,"

Tony pulled back and put his fingers in his mouth, watching Peter's unkempt and unhinged expression. He sucked loudly on his fingers, getting them covered in saliva before placing them on Peter's pink hole.

Peter widened his knees and watched as Tony used one hand to pump his dick, and the other inserting a solemn finger inside him.

"Oh!" Peter gasped as he let his head fall backwards. "Ooohhh!" 

  
  


_ 'We touch and you're afraid of me _

_ And we burn and now I'm at your feet _

_ High speed, but you know you're in safe hands' _

  
  


Tony loved how angelic the younger looked, lying there stark naked, coming undone, moaning because of him, for him. Tony let his finger reach up further inside him, pulling it out and in softly until Peter's hips were moving along with it.

"You like that honey?" Tony asked him, kissing one of his thighs. 

"Mmhm… so much… Tony I'm gonna cum too soon if we do it like this…" 

Tony chuckled and pushed in another finger. "You're going to cum more than once tonight sweetheart." He grinned as he opened his mouth and sucked on the head of Peter's dick, as his hand moved faster on the base. 

"SHIT Oh my goooOD!" Peter almost screamed as he let pleasure take over his entire body, the best fucking feeling between his legs. His hands scrunching up in the bed sheets beside him, body shaking as he was lead through this beautiful new experience. He writhed on the bed, skin glistening with sweat.

"I'm gonna cum Tony… gonna cum for you… oh fuck FUCK TONY!" He screeched, mouth open and hips bucking up into Tony's mouth. 

Tony attempted to deepthroat the man as he suddenly came down his throat. His only option was to swallow him down, sucking until it was all gone. 

Tony pulled back, moving his hands away and holding onto Peter's hips, moving up his body. 

"Did you like that honey?" He whispered, kissing Peter's ear softly. 

Peter was still shaking off his orgasm, his breathing not knowing what to do, his eyes closed as he nuzzled his face into Tony's neck and nodded. 

_ 'Ooh, in the dark we make a brighter light _

_ From one spark to the horizon wide _

_ We trust, and together we tame the land, yeah' _

"Can't speak yet can you?" Tony smirked as he kissed the top of Peter's head. The younger man shook his head and kissed the skin under his mouth. 

Peter slowly moved them so he was on top, gently caressing and kissing over the older man's chest. Tony's nipple in his mouth, he let his hands go down to the place he had always dreamed about. His hands smoothing over every muscle. 

Tony winced as Peter accidentally touched one of his scars. The younger man watched his face and then slowly traced the outline of it with his fingers before kissing it softly. Blessing it with his love.

After he finished, he looked back to Tony, who had the most adorable look of admiration in his eyes, almost teary. 

Peter smiled sweetly and put his head down to nuzzle Tony's cock under his boxers. Peter loved the smell of the billionaire, the feel of his dick against his face. He could live there forever if Tony let him. 

_ 'Oh you'd be forgiven if you think you're dreaming _

_ But we're working night and day to make a dream come true, yeah _

_ Everything I do is driven by you _

_ Oh, come on babe' _

Spiderman mouthed the line of Tony's dick and let his fingers slowly pull at the hem. 

"I'm so fucking excited." He whispered, retracting an attractive laugh from Tony. 

"For what?"

"Tony Stark's big mighty cock in my face." Peter blushed. "In my mouth… in my ass."

"Shit Pete. You really do love me don't you?"

Peter nodded. "Want me to show you?"

"Go on then." Tony whispered, helping the younger pull his boxers down by lifting his hips.

The moment Tony's dick was uncovered, Peter moaned loudly, eyes glued to it. 

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm hard again," he giggled as he looked at Tony's dick in awe. 

"Oh that's hot Pete, tell you what, you do what you were gonna do and I'll let you have it." Tony's voice was low and raspy, probably the most attractive that Peter's ever heard it.

This moment was a huge one for Tony. Knowing in his heart that this was the right decision, he didn't feel sick anymore. He didn't want to drink. All he wanted was Peter.

  
  


_ 'Oh well it's tough to make a journey through _

_ The right stuff is dead ahead of you and me _

_ And you know we still got time' _

  
  


The younger man pressed open kisses on Tony's balls, sucking as he moved them to the bottom of Tony's shaft. He licked up the side and flicked his tongue against the slit.

"Christ Pete!" Tony groaned as he watched the angelic man between his legs, marveling at his cock. Peter opened his pretty pink lips in an 'O' shape and suck down, bringing as much of Tony's dick in his mouth as he could.

"Shit you're lips are so perfect honey, so  _ fuuuck _ …" Tony lost the ability to think. All he could do was watch the man he loved attempt to suck him off with all he had. At that moment, Peter opened his eyes and looked up at his own. 

"Fuuuuuck Pete… oh honey…  _ oooooohhhh _ …"

He could feel himself ready to fall over the edge. "Sweetheart stop, stop now." He urged him, holding Peter's hair and pulling him back gently. 

Peter smiled and did as he was gestured to do. "Was that okay?"

  
  


_ 'Whoo, hold on tight to the driving wheel _

_ This ride is really out of line _

_ Raw deal, but there's no other that's worth a dime' _

  
  


Tony answered him by pinning him to the bed and kissing him passionately, hands on his jaw and licking at his mouth. 

"Want me inside you honey?" Tony growled into his ear. "You want my dick up your ass?"

Peter whined and nodded. "Please… please." He licked his lips and spread his legs. Tony leaned over him and kissed his lips as he trailed his fingers down Peter's body again, heading back towards his hole. 

Two fingers right back in, Tony pulled back and memorised Peter's face as he reacted. Out. In. Out. And finally a third finger, pushing in as far as they could. 

"Nnnnggghhh… please Tony…" 

"How long you wanted this darling?" He whispered as he pushed his fingers in again. 

"Forever. Tony I love you so much, I've always…  _ ahhh. _ .. always loved you…"   
  


_ 'You know I love you but you drive me crazy _

_ Because you're saying all the things I want to say to you _

_ You say _

_ Everything I do is driven by you' _

  
  
  


Tony grinned, kissing him quickly, removing his hands and manoeuvring himself on to of the younger fully. Bodies against each other, warmth radiating between them, feeling the other man's skin against them.

"You have?" He grinned. "You even loved me when I died?"

"I did. I never stopped." Peter whispered, staring him in the eyes, his whole body shivering in desire. "I never will."

Tony aligned his cock along with Peter's entrance, "Put your legs around my waist honey, are you ready?"

"Wait." Peter licked his lips, preparing himself and letting his hands find their way to Tony's neck. 

"What's wrong?" Tony asked him.

Peter shook his head. "Nothing, just let me remember this moment. You know the last time I was here I was thinking about this."

Tony chuckled. "I know." He admitted. "I watched you while you were in the shower."

Peter blushed and opened his mouth in a mock gasp. "You did? Really?"

Tony nodded, letting one hand fall between them and gingerly touch Peter's dick. 

"I watched you… touching yourself… calling my name…"

Peter wriggled his hips down so he could feel Tony's dick against his entrance. "I  _ ahhhh…  _ always call your name like that!"

Tony bent down and pressed a kiss to Peter's lips. "I'll make you scream it tonight,"

He slowly pushed himself inside of Peter, watching as his eyes widened. Tony moved his hips so he was halfway inside, pulling back out again and pushing further in. 

  
  


_ 'Inner children lost their way _

_ Now they know the price you pay _

_ I'm holding on to life with you _

_ Because life without you just won't do _

_ Driven by you' _

  
  
  


Tony couldn't understand why this was so scary to him beforehand. Peter around his dick was the tightest and most powerful force he had ever felt. His entire body was thanking him, promising to treat Peter like a god every day for this experience.

"Oh fuck tony!" Peter exclaimed, "You're so big!"

Tony chuckled, the vibrations of his voice flowing through Peter's bones. "That's not all of it honey, shit you're…  _ ohmygod _ you're tight!"

Peter bit down on his lip as he moved his hips. "I want all of it Tony, want you all in."

With the flick of his hips, Tony pushed up and filled Peter up. They both moaned loudly. Tony gripped his hips and started moving at a faster pace. 

"Faster Tony, fuck harder!" Peter beckoned him as he arched his back and writhed under him. 

Tony held tightly to him and tried to slam into him, hitting the younger man's prostate. 

"SHIT!" Peter screamed as he felt this new pleasure. Tony continued to hit that spot, letting one hand fall in between them to jerk Peter off.

"Holyshit!" Peter exclaimed as his breathing became unhinged and all over the place. Both of them were sweating as Tony pounded into him.

  
  


_ 'You know I'm never going to know who's dreaming _

_ But we're working night and day to make a dream come true - yeah _

_ Everything I do is driven by you' _

  
  


"Peter, oh Peter you're so beautiful!" Tony cried as his nested the edge of his orgasm. He wiped his thumb over the slit of Peter's dick.

"Tony! Oh shit Tony! I adore you, I adore you so much _ahhhhhh_ _that's sooo goood_… so fucking… ohmygod… Toooony TONY TOONY!"

Peter came loudly into Tony's hands, his body exploding in a fit of passion. Tony felt the muscles around his dick tighten and spasm around him, pushing him over the edge. He brought his hand covered in Peter's cum to his mouth and licked at it as he came.

"I love you! I love you Peter so much,  _ Fuuuuuuuck!!  _ PETER!" Tony filled Peter up with his load, thanking all the gods there was for how great this felt. 

He collapsed on top of Peter, sweating bodies breathing heavily against each other. They entwined their fingers in one hand as Tony moved to let Peter cuddle into him. 

Their breathing took a few minutes to get back to normal, both of them with their eyes closed, enjoying the feel of their shared post orgasmic state. 

"I'm glad it was you Tony." Peter whispered as he pulled the covers up over them. 

"Me too Peter. I think I would have murdered Richard if it was him."

Peter giggled. "Did you really beat him up for me?"

"I sure did sweetheart." Tony smiled into Peter's curls, letting his eyes fall shut.

"Were you jealous of him?" Peter asked innocently.

"Wildy." 

"I'm sorry." Peter kissed his chest. "I'll never make you jealous again."

Tony tightened his arms around Peter's body. "I know you're still young… I know I'm an old man. But I truly love you Peter, and I'm not letting you get away again."

  
  


_ 'Everything we do _

_ Everything we do _

_ Everything we do _

_ Everything we do _

_ Everything we do' _

"Tony. Age doesn't matter, all that matters is I have you now. Let's just forget about all the other stuff."

Tony traced his fingers along Peter's arm as he started to drift off to sleep. Head buried between  Peter's hair and the pillow.

"Tony?" Peter whispered.

"Mmm?" A half dreamy Tony replied as his head tucked into the pillow.

"I'm hard again," 

Tony let out a little laugh. "You little shit."

  
  


_ 'Everything we do _

_ Everything we do _

_ Everything we do _

_ Everything we do is driven by _

_ Driven by _

_ Driven by you _

_ Oh - everything I do I do for you' _

  
  
  



End file.
